Cherries & Porcupines
by Hisha P
Summary: Now that Tighten has been defeated, Megamind has to repair his past mistakes and seek Metro City's forgiveness. Meanwhile, Roxanne's new camera girl thinks the former villain would be the perfect source of inspiration for her future webcomic.
1. Chapter 1

The title will make sense later.

This first chapter includes what happens after Megamind kicks Tighten's butt and Roxanne's new camera girl wanting to create a comic inspired by our favourite blue alien's life.

After Tighten's defeat, Roxanne was given one whole week off of work. It was the first time in many years she didn't go straight back to work after a kidnapping, but her boss knew this time was different. And like everyone else, seeing Megamind rescue her and the city from the bad guy instead of the other way around really confused him and therefore he expected his most famous reporter to be as confused as he was.  
She didn't mind having some time off though. She had lots of things to do.  
Firstly, she contacted the Metro City Prison For The Criminally Gifted to know if it was possible to turn the blue alien's eighty-eight life sentences into community service. He could escape from jail anytime he wanted anyway ; an alternate punishment for his past actions would be better for everyone.  
The reporter smiled. _That's funny how fast things can change_, she thought. _Three months ago I would never have thought I'd help Megamind stay out of jail._  
But he wasn't a villain anymore, was he?  
Sure, he had kidnapped her and put her in uncomfortable situations countless of times in the past, but he had never actually hurt her. And when her life really was in danger, he came to the rescue. When Tighten was destroying the city, he had the guts to fight against him while Metro Man (or Music Man as he called himself now) had refused to leave his hiding place. Now that she thought about it, despite years of playing the part of the super villain, Megamind had proven to be more of a hero than Metro Man ever was. The least Roxanne could do was to help the former evil overlord in his path to the light side of the Force.  
However, there were still a few things she needed to discuss with him, so she decided to drive to his lair.

The reporter parked the news van next to Megamind's lair, climbed out of the vehicle, locked it and went through the holographic wall of the building. Once inside, the first person she saw was Minion.  
"Hello Miss Ritchi! Nice to see you!" the fish smiled.  
Roxanne smiled back at him.  
"Hello Minion. Glad to see Megamind repaired your body."  
"That's the very first thing he did after coming back here yesterday."  
"Is he here? I need to talk to him."  
"He's working right now." He pointed a robotic finger towards the general direction of his master's worktable. "Over here."  
She thanked him and walked toward the worktable where the new hero was repairing the pink brain-bot.  
Roxanne spoke softly :  
"Megamind?"  
He froze then turned over to face her, the little robot still in his hands.  
"Ollo, I mean, hello Roxanne. I… I didn't expect you."  
It was the second time she went to the lair, but now she wasn't there to steal his secrets or fight against him. Another new thing was he didn't call her Miss Ritchi anymore. Actually, this one wasn't that new : he called her by her first name when he was pretending to be Bernard…  
"May I have a few words with you… in private?"  
The blue man gulped. A hint of fear was visible in his large green eyes.  
"Just give me a minute."  
He quickly finished repairing the brain-bot and gave it a pat on the head.  
"You can go join your brothers now, Clarice", he said. "Roxanne and Daddy have important matters to discuss."  
"Do they all have a name?" the human asked as the robot floated away and left.  
"Of course they do", the alien replied. "Every single one of them."  
"Anyway, I wanted to ask you something else…" She paused, trying to find her words. Seeing the worried expression on Megamind's face, she decided it would probably be better to get it over with. "When you were pretending to be Bernard and we were… dating… How much of it was true? What was part of the disguise and what was true?"  
"Well…" He stared at the floor. "Bernard's appearance and name were part of the disguise, obviously…" after some hesitation, he finally raised his head and looked directly into her blue eyes. "But everything else was true."  
Roxanne didn't know what to say.  
She remembered when she hugged "Bernard", how long it took him to react and how awkward he was. Back then she figured out he probably didn't receive much affection as a kid, or even as an adult, but she never dared to ask him about it, afraid to bring back possibly painful memories.  
Was the adorkable, nerdy, affection starved man she fell for the real Megamind? _Actually… it does make sense. All his life he was either in a prison cell or alone with his only friend and some robots… when not conducting an evil plan and trying to look scarier, tougher and eviler than he really was. _  
The longer she remained silent, the more stressed out he was.  
_What was I thinking? I deceived her once, she won't trust me ever again_, the alien thought. _Plus, she made it clear she will never ever be with me… I've always known it anyway…_  
Then, to his greatest surprise, she hugged him. Tightly. He froze a second or two before hugging her back, smiling.  
Keeping her arms around him, she looked into his green eyes. He had such beautiful eyes…  
She was hugging him so tightly the spikes on his shoulder were starting to hurt a little (they weren't pointy, but they could without a doubt leave a temporary mark on her skin if she pressed too hard), so she loosened her grip a bit. And then, letting her instinct take over, she pressed her lips against his.  
Megamind couldn't believe his luck. She was kissing him. Him and not Bernard. Not even in his wildest dreams did he think this would ever happen. He returned the kiss tenderly and wished for this moment to never end.  
"Sir?" Minion called from another room. "Where did you put the spare parts for the overbike?"  
Roxanne took a step back, breaking the kiss and releasing her hold on the blue man.  
"Well, I guess I… I should let you work", she said.  
"Your arm…" he noticed.  
"Hum, what?" She looked down at her arm. "Oh, it's nothing. Just temporary marks. They'll fade away quickly. Actually, they're already fading! I'll just be more careful next time."  
"Next time?" he repeated. _There will be a next time? Does she really mean it?_  
The reporter giggled briefly.  
"What, did you expect me to kiss you without meaning it, Megamind?" she replied jokingly.  
"No. But to be honest, I didn't expect you to kiss me at all…"  
"Sir?" Minion called again.  
"You should go now", Roxanne told Megamind. "We'll, hum, talk more later, ok?"  
While the alien (or _both_ aliens) were busy repairing the overbike, the human went back outside, picked up something from the van, entered the not-so-evil-anymore lair once again and put a white piece of clothing on the less cluttered part of the worktable.  
It was of course Metro Man's old cape. She thought the blue man would like to have it.

"…After years of being Metro City's resident super villain, Megamind has taken his first step on the road to redemption by saving our city from Tighten. He also promised to help rebuild everything that has been destroyed and pay for all the damages he has caused himself before Tighten arrived…"  
Metro City's most famous reporter was interrupted in her speech by a swarm of brain-bots flying behind her, carrying various building materials.  
"…and I see the reconstruction has already begun! This is Roxanne Ritchi reporting live from the soon-to-be-rebuilt Metro Tower."  
She signed for her new camera girl to stop shooting.  
"If Megamind's redemption doesn't drive up the audience rating, I don't know what will!" commented the camera girl, a twenty-six years old blonde all dressed in black and wearing her hair in a braid.  
"It sure will!" the reporter replied. "However, most people are still a bit… sceptical about his turn to the light side."  
"It's easy to influence the audience's opinion with television" the camera girl (what was her name again? Mary? Maggie? Maddy? Maddy) stated. "You used the word 'redemption'. Redemption stories can work well if you know what you're doing."  
Megamind wasn't forgiven for his crimes. However, sending him back to jail again would be pointless, not only because he could escape easily, but also because he didn't even perceive being imprisoned as a punishment. He was raised by the prisoners after all. And Roxanne suggested a brilliant idea : sentence him to serve the city as its new hero. They didn't need to know he didn't see this as a punishment either.  
However, in order to be officially recognised as a hero, he was asked to prove he was no longer a villain. One good deed wasn't enough. So he offered to rebuild the city for free. He was even willing to pay for the reconstruction or replacement of everything that was damaged or destroyed during his brief reign as Metro City's overlord, including the Metro Man Museum. He planed to sell some of his inventions to collect enough money for that task.  
_It'll take time_, Roxanne thought, _but they'll get used to the idea of Megamind as the good guy eventually._  
Maddy put her camera back in the news van, then froze a second, thinking.  
"Actually… yes, this story would be great as a comic book… Roxanne?"  
"Yes, hum, Maddy?"  
"You're close to Megamind, right?"  
"Well... I…"  
"You see, my… partner and I, we host a blog with a weekly webcomic and we're looking for new stories to tell. Would he agree to let us use his?"  
"He would certainly appreciate that you thought about him for your blog, but I doubt he'd be willing to talk about his past to strangers."  
Maddy nodded slowly.  
"If he's ever interested about being featured in Cherries & Porcupines, tell me." She shrugged. "It doesn't hurt to ask, even if his answer is 'no'. Anyway, if we can't make the comic about him, he still can be our consultant. He must know the whole villains-and-heroes business better than anyone else."  
"Cherries & Porcupines?" Roxanne repeated. What kind of title was that?  
"It comes from our screen-names", the girl in black explained. "She goes by Cherry Bomb and I go by Steel Porcupine. It's a very, _very long_ story… You've never heard of our blog, have you?"  
The reporter shook her head and added :  
"Anyway, let's go to the courthouse while the brain-bots do their job. Hal's trial will start soon."


	2. Chapter 2

Includes a bit of Hal's trial, some cuddling and a serious discussion between Roxanne and her new camera girl.

* * *

Whispers rose from the audience. They couldn't believe what they had just heard. Only Hal's court-appointed lawyer, Megamind, Minion and Roxanne weren't surprised.  
"So you are saying Megamind gave you your superpowers before taking them away from you?" He asked.  
"Yes", Hal replied. "At first he fooled me into thinking he was someone else, but I saw right through that little blue twerp's disguise of course."  
A few minutes later, it was Megamind's turn to testify. The room went silent again. Had Roxanne not been so worried about how the whole thing could turn out for him, she would have smiled at the sharp contrast between the white cape he was wearing and his black and blue attire underneath. Despite replacing his usual cape and collar with Metro Man's, he didn't forget his own fashion sense completely.  
" , do you confirm what Hal Stewart has just said? Did you give this man superpowers?"  
The alien felt nervous, of course, but this was like stage fright, and years of appearing on screen or directly in front of large crowds during each one of his evil plans had taught him how to deal with it. Plus, he was expecting this question and had been preparing his answer since he had entered the courthouse.  
"This isn't _my_ tree-al, your honor", he pointed out. "Actually, I've never ever been on tree-al. Metro Man brought me back to jail, I was given one more sentence, and that was it."  
The audience whispered again. Roxanne's jaw dropped. She couldn't help but whisper too. "_Why didn't he tell me?!_" she said to herself.  
The former villain continued :  
"I deciphered Metro Man's DNA to find out the source of his awesome powers and give them to someone. Who else could have achieved such a thing so quickly? However, I have to admit was infused by accident." T_hey don't need to know Roxanne was there_, he thought. "But since every villain needs a hero to fight, I used a disguise to train him to be Metrocity's new hero. I knew he wasn't very intelligent, but I didn't know he'd be dim-witted enough to destroy the whole city just because one woman rejected him. And contrary to what he said, he didn't know who really gave him his powers before he had already turned evil."  
The alien was lucky Hal didn't have laser vision anymore, or his glare would have melted his giant blue head instantly.  
"I made this man a hero. I've never indented for him to become the bad guy. This was his own choice. And when he was destroying the city and threatening Ro… Miss Ritchi's life, I chose to become the defender Metrocity needs. It is the best way to repair my past mistakes."  
After further explanations and deliberations, Hal was found guilty and brought back to jail. Megamind found amusing to offer him his old cell. However, he knew that even though Hal was the one to be convicted, he was the one who would have to seek people's forgiveness.  
Maddy, who was waiting outside the whole time since cameras weren't allowed in the courtroom, paused the game she was playing on her phone when she saw Roxanne approaching the news van. She stepped out of the vehicle and opened the door for the reporter.  
"Hello good-looking" she said cheerfully, "need a lift?"  
The reporter smiled. "Thanks Maddy, but I think I'll…" she looked back at the courthouse to see Metro City's very own blue alien pass the door and be instantly surrounded by other journalists. "He's outside ; go get the camera and the mike right now!"  
Megamind kept repeating he had nothing more to say, but those people kept asking questions after questions regardless. _How did Metro Man deal with that kind of things every day?_  
Then, among tons of questions about Tighten and some others about the nature of his relation with Roxanne Ritchi, he heard a familiar voice. The voice of a certain reporter for KMCP News 8.  
"You mentioned you've never been on trial. Can you explain this point a bit further?"  
He turned around to face Roxanne and her microphone. She was the only reporter he was willing to talk to right now.  
"They didn't bother deliberating. Or anything else. They just gave their verdict directly."  
"Why?"  
The former villain sighed. It was the first time she had ever seen him sigh in public.  
"The answer to your question is very simple, Miss Ritchi : on Earth, only humans or people who are able to pass as humans can have any constitutional right."  
Just like all the other people around, Roxanne was taken aback by his answer. She had never seen him so bitter before. However, it inspired her a new question :  
"Are you implying you've been victim of some kind of racism?"  
"I… guess so?" he replied. "I mean, yes, I think you can put it that way."

Roxanne and Megamind were both very busy the following week, to the point they barely saw each other. He had told her on the phone (she had offered him a new one) he was planning on getting rid of the past (how exactly, he didn't mention) and then going with Minion on their first patrol as the defenders of "Metrocity" next Monday, as his new job as a hero officially started on that day.  
Meanwhile, Roxanne was given lots of reports to do, none of them Megamind related. Though her boss didn't make a single comment, she figured out he certainly doubted her objectivity on the matter. Protesting would only have made things worse. It was probably better to wait a little more and let him realise the new hero would certainly refuse to give interviews to anyone other than Roxanne. He proved it in front of the courthouse. Probably not his smartest move, as his not answering to any question other than hers fed the rumours about their relation.  
_It's also my fault_, she thought. _I knew he didn't want to talk to the others and I knew he can't refuse me anything._  
When Monday arrived and Roxanne heard about a giant robot in the outskirts of the city, where she knew Megamind's lair was, her first reaction was to frantically grab her cell phone; then she realised her boyfriend must be fighting the robot so calling him now wasn't the best thing to do.  
The bright light of the reformed villain's death ray was seen later, and the giant robot vanished. What exactly happened?

She found out later that day, or actually early the day after, as it was way past midnight now. But she couldn't sleep.  
Abandoning all hopes of sleeping, Roxanne left her bedroom and decided to get some fresh air on the balcony, wearing only a blue nightgown and pink slippers.  
After a few minutes, she could hear the sound of a motorbike approaching. Then, she saw it : it was the overbike, ridden by a certain blue man driving with one hand and holding a vase full of white roses in the other. He wasn't wearing Metro Man's old cape anymore, but his trademark high collar and black and blue cape again. She stepped aside to let him land on the balcony next to her.  
"My original plan was to leave them here so you'd find them you wake up", he told her, "but since you're awake, giving them to you directly would be better, right?"  
He handed Roxanne the vase and she happily took it. Those flowers were so beautiful, almost perfect. She smiled from ear to hear.  
"That's so sweet of you, dear. Thank you."  
"You're welcome." _That's the appropriate response to a thanks, right?_  
"I'm surprised you didn't get me _blue_ flowers" she laughed.  
"I would have if they had any blue roses" Megamind explained.  
"Let's put them inside, shall we?" Roxanne said. "Please come in!"  
He followed her as she went back to her apartment and put the flowers in the middle of the table. Then, she turned around and kissed him briefly before asking him how his first day as the official defender of Metro City went. As they covered the overbike with a large bed sheet, he started telling her about everything that happened that day ; however he was very soon interrupted :  
"Wait a minute, you organised a yard sale in your lair? That's what you meant by 'I'll get rid of the past'?"  
"…It might not have been my best idea."  
This was the closest he could get to admitting this was his worst idea since he decided to train Titan.  
"Now everyone knows where your lair is!"  
Megamind may be able to hide some emotions such as stage fright from large crowds, but he couldn't hide his "oh crap" face from Roxanne.  
"Well… I have lots of secondary lairs no-one knows about! Minion and I can always settle down in one of them if needed, which won't happen because I will reinforce the sessurity of the main lair and –"  
"Ok, ok, enough of that" the human interrupted. "And it's 'security' by way."  
"I knew this!" the new hero pouted.  
The reporter sat on her couch and invited him to join her.  
"Before something really bad happens to your not-so-secret hideout, would you please explain to me what were that giant robot and the explosions that were seen near it earlier? If the villains you'll have to face have weapons like this one, we're in troubles."  
"It was the old evil me."  
"What?"  
"Let me explain…"

When Roxanne woke up, she was still cuddling with Megamind on the couch. She couldn't help but smile from ear to ear. Not so long ago, if someone had told her something like this would happen, she would have called them crazy. And yet, the blue man was her boyfriend now, though it was too soon to officially reveal their relationship and confirm the rumours.  
The alien opened his eyes as well, saw the human's smile and smiled back at her. He still couldn't believe she had forgiven him. He was still astonished she was willing to be with him. His greatest fear was that this relationship wouldn't last. That he would lose her again.  
When she pressed her lips against his, he was afraid it could be the last time she did so.  
When she broke the kiss, they spoke in unison :  
"I love you."  
"You… you really love me?" Megamind asked.  
"Of course I do. Don't you ever doubt it again" Roxanne replied while cupping his face with her hand. She had never seen him so happy.  
He responded by running his fingers through her hair. _I'm glad I took those gloves off…_  
As they were about to kiss again, the human's cell phone rang. Reluctantly, she left her boyfriend's arms to answer it. Maddy's name was on the screen, and suddenly Roxanne realised she was already late for work. She pressed the green button.  
"Ollo – I mean, hello!"  
_Oh, great, I'm picking up his mispronunciations now…_  
Much to her relief, the camera girl didn't comment on it.  
"Hello Roxanne. It's the first time you're late since we've started working together and -"  
"I know, I was… my alarm clock didn't go off. I'm in my car right now! Tell the boss I'm sorry!"  
"Will do! 'Just wanted to warn you : he's in a bad mood this morning. Something about the coffee machine not working properly. See ya later!"  
"Thanks for the warning Maddy. See you at the office!"  
She hung up, rushed to her bedroom and got dressed as fast as she could. Meanwhile, Megamind picked up his gloves, cape and collar and put them on.  
Roxanne kissed him goodbye and promised to visit him at his lair after work. Then, she left the apartment.  
_Let's go back to Evil Lair_, the alien thought. _Minion and I have lots of work to do there._

Later that day, Roxanne and Maddy were in the news van, driving towards the location of their next report. From time to time, they could spot two or three brain-bots patrolling the sky, making sure the streets were safe. From the driver's seat, the camera girl suddenly spoke :  
"Now that I think about it, have you talked to Megamind about that webcomic idea?"  
"Wha- Oh, the webcomic! With everything that happened lately, I completely forgot! I'm sorry…"  
"No worries. You can always mention it some other time. No need to hurry."  
"Plus, it's not like I see him everyday…"  
"Roxanne, _everyone_ knows there's something between you two. And you know they know. And dating the one who killed your ex-boyfriend -"  
"Metro Man never was my boyfriend", Roxanne interrupted. She also wanted to tell the woman in black Wayne wasn't actually dead, but she promised to keep it secret.  
"He wasn't?"  
"Everyone thought he was. But we never were a couple. Beside, when we saw his skeleton, Megamind was as shocked as everyone else, maybe even more. He never expected his plan to work. It was an accident"  
"Ok, ok, if you say so." Maddy shrugged. "It's your choice. I just hope you won't have to regret it."  
"I won't."  
Maddy's grey eyes glanced at Roxanne then stared at the road in front of her again. The reporter's expression and the way she spoke those two words made the message perfectly clear.  
"You really love him, don't you."  
It wasn't a question : the camera girl just stated a fact. Roxanne nodded.  
"But even if our relationship were made official, we wouldn't be able to go on a normal date outside because… well… he's not really…" she muttered, thinking aloud.  
"Oh, believe me Roxanne, I know what it is to have to hide."  
"What could you possibly be hiding?"  
"Many things. People are so judgmental. They'll constantly judge you based on what you look like, what you wear, what you do, who you love or what you are. Heck, I can't even do simple things such as wearing my normal clothes to work. If they can't accept something as small as this, I'm certainly not going to reveal anything else about myself."  
Roxanne remained silent for a moment, not sure if she could ask Maddy about the "many things" right now or not. Maybe it would be wiser to start with what she had already mentioned.  
"Those aren't your normal clothes?"  
"Number one metalhead and hardrocker problem : few people will hire you if you just walk in wearing your favorite clothes", the camera girl replied. "I'm already lucky they let me wear all blacks."  
"And what if you came to work wearing whatever you want tomorrow? I'll make sure you won't get fired or anything. Despite all the rumors and all, I'm still KMCP's most famous reporter. The audience ratings would drop if I left and the boss knows it. Plus, you don't even appear on screen anyway, who cares about the way you dress?"  
"You'd do that for me?"  
"Why not? Why would you have to care about what other people think?"  
As Roxanne was speaking, the van arrived at destination.


	3. Chapter 3

Contains more Maddy, more MegaRox, and mentions of events showed in the The Reign Of Megamind.

* * *

The following day, Roxanne and Maddy arrived in front of KMCP's head office at the same time. While the former was wearing jeans, a plain white t-shirt and a grey jacket, the latter had a leather jacket covered in studs and spikes, an Alice Cooper's "Theatre Of Death" t-shirt and fingerless studded leather gloves on.  
"I've seen lots of spikes in my life, but rarely that much on one single person", Roxanne laughed. "You make Megamind look like an amateur!"  
"Where do you think the nickname Steel Porcupine comes from?" Maddy replied, laughing as well. "And you haven't seen everything yet!" she added while hitching her left sleeve up a little in order to reveal a four-rows spiked bracelet on her wrist. "I love spikes", she commented. "Spikes are cool."  
"You and him would get along pretty well", the reporter said, half-joking, half-serious.  
Maddy's attire attracted many weird looks and comments.  
Near the end of the workday, both women responded to those comments by sending the following note to the employees :

Maddy is **NOT** going to :  
-punch anyone with her studded gloves  
- harm anyone in any way whatsoever  
- bite the head of a chicken off  
- worship the devil  
- ruin KMCP's reputation  
- stop wearing what she wants just because you don't like it

However, she will :  
- wear whatever makes her feel pretty  
- be nice to you if you treat her with respect  
- leave you alone if you leave her alone  
- appreciate it if you stopped judging a book by its cover.

"Are you sure we can get away with this?" the woman in black asked Roxanne, worried.  
"I told you : the boss can't fire me" the reporter replied. "If I tell him I won't work with anyone else than you, he'll have to let you and your spikes stay."  
"Why do you do that for me? You don't have to."  
"Because all those close-minded people can get lost somewhere. I've had enough of all that crap."  
She had barely finished speaking when the boss appeared and asked Maddy to follow him to his office. The woman in black felt her confidence fall apart. While walking towards the boss's office, she couldn't help picturing herself on the death row.  
As soon as he closed the door, he said :  
"Please take a seat. It's always nice to talk to a fellow sick thing."  
Maddy's eyes grew as wide as saucers.  
"You're one of us?"  
"Of course, but unlike you I'm not brave enough to wear my Alice shirt at work."  
She had never been so relieved in her life before.  
"I thought you were gonna fire me or something, not compliment my 'bravery'!"  
"Alice's fans don't fire each other", the boss laughed.  
Suddenly, the door opened, revealing Roxanne.  
"Listen, _I_ told her she could go to work in her normal clothes. She's not even on screen, who cares what she wears?"  
"Thank you Roxanne", the camera girl smiled, "but it's ok, he's not gonna fire a fellow sick thing."  
"Sick thing?"  
"That's how we Alice Cooper fans call ourselves", the boss replied. "Don't worry, Maddy is here to stay."  
"That's a relief to hear", the reporter said. "I don't want her to get into trouble because of me."

"Ollo Roxanne! I have something for you!" Megamind told his girlfriend as soon as she entered the lair. He then pointed at one of his brain-bots and said "Bob, bring Daddy the package."  
"Bob?" Roxanne laughed.  
"He's one of the youngest brain-bots ; I didn't have much inspiration for names anymore when I created him", the hero explained.  
The robot came back carrying a sphere of wrapping paper which he gave to its creator.  
"Did you wrap it yourself or did an elephant wearing boxing gloves help you?" the human asked jokingly.  
"Hey, I've never wrapped presents before!" the alien replied defensively. "Anyway, I know how villains work and you know as well as I do the hero's girlfriend is always a target, so I made this for you."  
He handed her the gift and she started the long process of unwrapping it. There was way too much paper on that thing.  
She finished unwrapping the package to reveal a miniature version of Megamind's de-gun.  
"It only has the dehydration setting, but it can fit in a purse or pocket", he explained.  
"Thank you dear" she smiled. "I'll keep it with me 24/7."  
"Good. I wouldn't want you to be kidnapped by someone else."  
Roxanne laughed, and then decided to test her new toy on various objects all over the lair.  
"Minion, we're going to need a water bottle! Roxanne, DON'T SHOOT AT MY BRAIN-BOTS!"  
"Sorry! But at least now we know this gun works perfectly. Good job, Megamind."  
"Of course it works – wait, did you say 'good job'? You like it?"  
"I think she may like it a bit too much, sir", Minion commented.  
Before Roxanne could reply, her cell phone rang ; she put the gun in the pocket of her jacket and quickly apologize to Megamind and Minion before picking up the phone.  
"Hello?"  
"Hi Roxanne, it's Maddy. I'm a bit early, I know, but hey, I'm here and those floating plasma balls won't let me in!"  
"They won't let you in unless Megamind allows them to", the reporter explained. "It won't be long. See you in a minute!" She closed her cell phone and said to the aliens : "It's Maddy, you know my camera girl? I told you guys she was coming."  
"I just hope this one won't hit on you or tie you up with a street sign at the top of a tower", Megamind mumbled.  
"Don't worry about it : they chose a woman for the job especially to prevent that kind of situation from happening ever again."  
The blue man ordered the brain-bots outside to let the camera girl in. Soon, she joined human and aliens in front of the giant idea wall, wearing her usual spiked attire and an Ozzy Osbourne t-shirt.  
"Hello guys!"  
"I must say you have great tastes in clothes", Megamind commented.  
"Thanks. By the way, I love your gloves, where did you get them?"  
"I make all of his clothes myself based on his ideas", Minion replied proudly.  
"Good job!"  
"Thank you Miss… Excuse me, what's your name again?" the fish asked. "Your full name?"  
"Maddy Mabelle Manson. Some friends of mine call me Porcupine for obvious reasons."  
"So", the blue alien said, getting straight to the point for once, "Roxanne told me about a webcomic idea…"  
"My partner Cherry Bomb and I thought you could help us find inspiration", Maddy told him. "You've been on both sides of the villains-and-heroes thing ; you must know it better than anyone else I'll ever get the chance to talk to. Plus, your life should be turned into a movie or comic or something, don't you think? I know I'd buy it."  
Roxanne couldn't hide the smile on her face. _If with this she doesn't convince him…_  
While the woman in black and the blue man were talking, Minion brought chairs for everyone to sit on as well as some drinks for the three humanoid creatures.  
Suddenly, Maddy noticed a small blue cube lying on the floor and asked what it was.  
"Miss Ritchi was testing the dehydration gun the boss made for her earlier" the fish explained while grabbing the water bottle to rehydrate the cube, which then turned into a rather disoriented brain-bot.  
"How does your dehydration thing even work, Megamind?" the camera girl asked, fascinated.  
"I can't reveal this information", he replied. "It is top secret, you see."  
"Ok, ok, I understand." She remained silent for a moment, thinking, then asked : "this may sound a little weird, but could it be possible to dehydrate me and send me to Cherry by post? I really wanna meet her."  
"You've never actually met each other?" Roxanne asked.  
"The wonders of the internet : we've known each other for two years and yet we've never ever been on the same continent. But that doesn't prevent us from working together."  
"Anyway, sending people by post, even dehydrated, doesn't sound like a good idea to me. Imagine if the envelope was lost or something…" the reporter pointed out.  
The camera girl sighed.  
"You're right. I guess Cherry and I will have to wait a bit longer…"  
"So, I made cookies, who wants some?" Minion asked cheerfully, hopping it would lift Maddy's spirits and wipe that sorrowful expression off her face.  
Before anyone could respond, an alarm went off. The one that meant Metro City needed its defenders right away. The monitors showed a map of the city and the precise location where Megamind and Minion's presence were required.  
"Quick, Minion! To the invisible car! Metrocity needs us!"  
Within a blink of an eye, both aliens left the lair to stop some bank robbery, leaving the humans alone.  
"Well, unfortunately I gotta go too, so… see you at work on Monday!"  
Correction : leaving Roxanne alone with the brain-bots.  
Not knowing how long it would take for the blue man and the fish to return, she decided to explore the lair a bit further, as there were still parts of it she didn't know yet. Like the basement.

The basement was even more cluttered than the rest of the lair. Roxanne had to be extremely careful not to step on something sharp or make rusty, broken metal pieces fall off their piles. Right in the middle of this mess, she could see a few humanoid robots standing in a clear area. Could they be…?  
The reporter came closer to the centre of the basement to have a better look. _Yes, those ARE the Roxie-bots he tried to fool Metro Man with that one time… Or what's left of them._  
Though they all had lost their human disguises, a few of them still wore wigs mimicking the real Roxanne's hairstyle.  
"So Metro Man didn't destroy all of them…" she whispered as if her voice could wake the robots up.  
Next to them stood a locker large enough for two people to stand inside. An entry system had been added to the door ; the human would have to find the code if she wanted to know what the locker contained. What could the code possible be? Megamind's birthday? The date of his arrival on Earth? His prison number?  
As she was trying to figure it out, she heard the door opening.  
"Roxanne?"  
"I'm right here!"  
"What are you doing here?" Megamind asked as he joined his girlfriend at the centre of the basement. "I thought you had left without telling me!"  
"I was just being curious, that's all. By the way, I thought all the Roxie-bots had been destroyed."  
"Those are the very few that are still able to stand. Let's get back upstairs now, Minion made cookies."  
"Do you ever eat anything else than donuts and cookies when you're in this lair?" _And how are you still that skinny?_  
"Why should I?" he replied.  
"…Nevermind. Before we go upstairs, can you tell me what's inside this locker right here?"  
The alien froze. He remained silent a few seconds, then turned to the stairs and replied :  
"Nothing. Let's go now."  
The human's first impulse was to grab her boyfriend's shoulder, but she decided she'd better grab a spike-free zone instead, so she took his upper arm in her hand.  
"Why would it be locked if there was nothing in it? Come on, dear, you wouldn't have bothered building that entry code if the locker were destined to contain 'nothing'."  
Megamind sighed.  
"I didn't want Minion to open it."  
"Why? What's inside that thing? And what is the code?" Roxanne asked. She could see him hesitate. But she knew he couldn't refuse her anything if she asked nicely enough. "Please?"  
"… The code is the date of your first kidnapping", he revealed.  
She let go of his arm. He faced her again, then turned to the locker, entered the code and opened the metal door, revealing…  
"Another bot?"  
"She's the only completely intact Roxie-bot", he explained. "I didn't use her in the Recyclo-tron of Doom – you remember the Recyclo-tron?" She nodded and he continued his explanation : "I kept her safe here in Evil Lair to make sure I'd have at least one intact Roxie-bot. Metro Man destroyed so many of my ra-bots…"  
"And you didn't want this _robot_ to be destroyed as well."  
"I thought I could use her in another evil plan… but I never did."  
While the alien was speaking, the human stared at the android.  
"The resemblance is… uncanny", she whispered.  
"It is", he said. "You know… once or twice I got up in the middle of the night just to make sure she was still there… but the only thing you have in common is the appearance. All she can say is 'help me, Metro Man!' I couldn't have conversations with her. So I quickly stopped trying."  
"That's what you didn't want Minion to know? That you decided to keep this robotic look-alike for… Why did you keep it for?"  
"I… I don't know."  
They both fell silent for a moment.  
Then, Roxanne spoke softly :  
"Dear? Can I ask you a question?"  
"You just did."  
She rolled her eyes.  
"Another one then… How long have you… How long have you been in love with me?"  
"I'm not sure… I think I've always been. I mean, I've loved you since I first met you."  
"That's why you always tried to impress me."  
"That's also why I always made sure the weapons pointed at you were unloaded or would stop moving before reaching you", he confessed.  
"Ha! I knew they weren't loaded! I knew it!"  
"No wonder you weren't afraid then…"  
Megamind took Roxanne's hand in his.  
She remembered that one night in the rain, the pain in his eyes as he whispered "no." He had been in love with her all these years and had been hiding it because he was convinced she would never accept him as he was.  
Right now, he was silent. For once, he didn't have anything to say. He just wrapped his arms around her, inhaling her perfume. _She hasn't changed her perfume since high school. That's not a bad thing though. I love this smell…_  
He pressed his lips against hers. It was the first time he had ever initiated a kiss, and Roxanne was happy to be on the receiving end for once. _You should do that more often, dear._ Wrapping her arms around his torso, she kissed him back while he ran his fingers through her hair. _Dang it, why did I chose to wear these gloves?_  
"Sir? Miss Ritchi? Where are you?"

* * *

Notes : from my personal experience, if you wear studs or spikes, someone _will_ sooner or later ask you if they can hurt or be used as a weapon (defensive or not).  
Also, the "bite the head of a chicken off" line is a reference to the infamous "chicken incident" that happened during an Alice Cooper show a long time ago (Alice did not bite the chicken, but the newspapers claimed he did).


	4. Chapter 4

As rumours about Megamind and Maddy are spreading, the latter is reminded of extremely painful memories.  
Long story short, this chapter is essentially focused on Maddy and contains lots of angst. You've been warned.

* * *

"Hey, don't talk so fast, I'm trying to take notes here!" Maddy reminded the blue alien. "So, you were talking about the importance of presentation?"  
"Presentation is everything. Especially for super villains. It's very important for heroes too."  
As Megamind kept ranting, the camera girl kept taking notes in a notebook with her favourite light blue pen. At some point, he moved his high back chair next to her in order to take a look at what she had written so far. She quickly closed her notebook.  
"Could you not do that, please?" she asked. "I don't like people starring at my sloppy handwriting."  
He chuckled and said "you call _this_ sloppy?" then took a random page hanging on a string next to him and showed it to her as if it was some sort of contest.  
"I don't even know what language that is ; I can't know if it's written properly or not", Maddy explained.  
"It's Ee-nglish."  
"…You mean English."  
"That's what I said."  
The woman in black stared at the page again.  
"Congrats, you have the worst handwriting I have ever seen."  
"I know." He moved his chair to be in front of her again. "Only Minion and I can read it. The brain-bots still have difficulties deciphering it. Speaking of Minion…" he stood, took the page from Maddy's hand and put it back on its string. "It's time we go patrol now."  
"What, it's already that late?" she checked the time on her phone. "Oh. It is. Can you… take me back home during your patrol, please? I'd rather not go outside alone at this hour."  
"No problem. What kind of hero would I be if I didn't make sure the citizens of Metrocity can go back home safely at night? Just tell me where you live and the invisible car will take you there."  
Maddy stood up and put her pen safely in her pocket.  
"I've always dreamt of owning an invisible car", she smiled. "But I guess sitting in someone else's invisible car is close enough, right?"  
As she was speaking, Minion approached.  
"Actually, the boss modified it yesterday. He added seatbelts" the fish explained.  
"You mean there weren't seatbelts before?"  
"He added them because Miss Ritchi said she wouldn't get in the car again if there wasn't any -"  
Megamind cut him off :  
"Minion, we don't have time for this! We already have a really important mission for tonight: making sure this citizen comes back home safely tonight."

Minion stopped the invisible car in front of Maddy's apartment block. While she was busy unfastening her seatbelt, Megamind got out of the vehicle to open the door for her. That's what he was supposed to do, right?  
She climbed off the back of the car, took two steps and turned around to look at the two aliens.  
"Thanks for the ride, guys. That was nice of you."  
"That was the least we could do, Miss Manson", Minion smiled from the driver's seat.  
"Good luck on your patrol!" the camera girl said.  
"Good night, Maddy" the blue man replied.  
He got back in the car while the woman in black disappeared in the building. Minion rolled the window up, becoming invisible again, and then both aliens left to patrol other parts of the city.  
As Maddy entered her apartment, she wondered what Cherry was doing right now. She was probably sleeping. She would send her her notes tomorrow. And then, her partner would start drawing some sketches. The camera girl absolutely loved Cherry's style. She was also a bit jealous because she couldn't draw to save her life. But she could do other things, like writing.  
And she did write a lot for the webcomic project. Even though Megamind never mentioned his childhood, he still had a lot to say.

All the people who had fled Metro City after Megamind took it over or when Tighten was destroying it where now coming back. Roxanne and Maddy were asked to make a report on the subject. They went to various locations, including a school in front of which they intended to interview the teachers about the children returning to class and the parents who had just come back to the city with their families now that it was safe.  
The adults gave the camera girl weird looks, but she was used to it. Before they could start their first interview of a teacher, he said to Roxanne :  
"Your camera girl here should take all those spikes off, she's going to scare the children."  
"Oh, yeah, I'm some girl with a camera, I'm soooooo scary" Maddy commented sarcastically.  
"Come on, it's just some studs and spikes", Roxanne pointed out. "Beside, just take a look at the children. They don't seem to be scared."  
While she was speaking, she could see her camera girl crouch down to let a little boy touch the longer spikes on her shoulders.  
"It's not even pointy", the child noticed.  
"Of course it's not. Those who made this jacket didn't want the customers to hurt themselves."  
"What are they for?"  
"The spikes? Nothing. I just like how they look."  
"How many do you have?"  
"Still not enough", the woman in black laughed.  
"Hum, that's really cute Maddy, but we have an interview to do…" Roxanne reminded her.  
"Sorry."  
The rest of the day went on as planned until reporter and camera girl went back to the office, where one of their co-workers handed them a magazine, saying "you might want to take a look at this." Roxanne took it in her hand.  
On the front page was a picture of Maddy and Megamind standing next to her apartment block. The headline read "MEGAMIND'S NEW LOVE INTEREST?"  
The camera girl facepalmed really hard.  
"They can't be serious…"  
Roxanne opened the magazine.  
"It's a tabloid, not serious journalism", she pointed out.  
"He just escorted me to my home a couple of time! Do they know you can take someone home without being interested in them or whatever?"  
"They don't care. They just want to sell that piece of crap they call a magazine."  
Maddy sighed heavily.  
"Why do they even care who other people date or not anyway…"  
The reporter sighed as well.  
"I don't know…"

Maddy spent the next day avoiding questions. At least now that people thought there was something between Megamind and her, they left Roxanne alone, but she was tired of this situation already. She had always been expected to be nice to everybody no matter what, however when a man was nice to her everybody thought he was interested in her.  
Also, she had heard someone make a comment about how _disgusting_ it was to date an alien.  
Disgusting. She had been called "disgusting" before, years ago. She remembered it like it was yesterday. She remembered how her brother and her mother didn't say a thing while she grabbed her bag. She remembered she had packed her most important belongings in a bag in advance because she knew what would happen. She remembered when her father silently opened the door. She knew what that meant. She went through the door and took a step outside. She remembered her father's voice behind her saying "you are disgusting". She remembered the sound of the door being slammed really hard.  
So when she heard some random person on the street pronounce the same word just after she had finished shooting a report, she simply broke down and left Roxanne, the camera and the van right there and went back home. That word brought back too many painful memories she had tried to forget. But she knew she'd never forget.  
As she entered her tiny apartment, she threw her jacket in that old armchair she had found one day in a junkyard. Her gloves and bracelet quickly followed.  
The word still echoed in her head. She walked in the bathroom, removed her clothes and proceeded to take a long, burning hot shower. There, in the middle of the bathtub, she suddenly crouched down and cried. She wasn't disgusting, was she? She didn't do anything wrong, why did so many people treat her like she was the scum of the earth? Like her own family did, ten years ago…  
Suddenly, she heard a noise, like footstep in the next room. She turned the shower off and listened closely. Everything was silent again. Maybe the footsteps were a figment of Maddy's imagination. Maybe they weren't.  
She silently stepped out of the bathtub and grabbed a towel, still listening.  
She put her sky blue bathrobe on and looked for something she could use as a weapon if necessary. All she could find was a pair of scissors she grabbed firmly as she left the bathroom. The next thing she knew, something hit the back of her head. Then, everything went black.

When Maddy woke up, her hands were chained to a wall behind her. She could see metal bars in front of and next to her : she was in some sort of cage. A cage in a lab. In front of the cage stood a video camera on a tripod. It was the same kind of camera she used everyday. Probably stolen. She tugged at the chains even though she knew it was useless. Her knees were shaking and her heart was beating insanely fast. She tried to calm down and _think_. Panicking wouldn't do her any good. But what else could she do?  
"What would Roxanne do?" she muttered to herself.  
"I see you're awake at last!" said a voice coming from the shadows in the corner of the room.  
A middle-aged man wearing a lab coat splattered in red paint approached the cage. Was that cheap paint supposed to look like blood?  
The camera girl now knew what Roxanne would do : stall for time.  
"Who are you? What is this place? What do you want?"  
"They call me Doctor Moreau, this is my laboratory, and I want to use you to lure your _boyfriend_ right into my -"  
"You read too many tabloids, Mister I Took My Name From A H.G Wells Novel", Maddy interrupted him. "Megamind's not my boyfriend. He's already taken and so am I. You kidnapped me for nothing."  
"It doesn't matter. If that traitor to the villainous cause really wants to be a hero, he will be looking for you anyway. But when he finds you… it will be too late."  
An evil laugh followed.  
The villain then proceeded to turn the camera on.

"Ol- Hello?" Megamind said when he answered his cellphone.  
"It's Roxanne. Maddy left right after we finished shooting, she doesn't answer her phone and she isn't in her apartment. I'm worried."  
"Do you have any idea where she could be?"  
"… Because of that tabloid I showed you, people now think there's something between you and her. And the hero's girlfriend or supposed girlfriend is always a target for villains… I'm afraid she might have been kidnapped. That's why I'm calling you."  
"I know every place a villain could use to conduct their evil plans in Metrocity. I've visited all of them myself. I'll find her."  
"Make it quick. She may be in great danger right now."

* * *

Note : I remember reading that bad handwriting could be a sign of intelligence. I couldn't help thinking that if it's true, Megamind must have the worst handwriting ever. ^^


	5. Chapter 5

Someone has been kidnapped. But it isn't Roxanne.  
Also, a couple of F-bombs have been dropped on the first paragraph.

* * *

All the TV sets in Metro City were now showing Maddy in a cage, chained to the wall and wearing only a sky blue bathrobe.  
Then, Doctor Moreau's face appeared on screen.  
"I'm Doctor Moreau, and this is for that traitor to the villainous cause, Megamind", he said. "If you don't go back to your own planet tonight, your girlfriend will -"  
"For the last fucking time : I. Am. Not. His. Girlfriend. We're both already taken!" the hostage interrupted.  
The villain turned away from the camera to face her and shouted :  
"Don't you interrupt me while I'm talking to the hero, you little, disgus-"  
"_SHUT UP!_"  
Maddy's yell of pure anger left him speechless two whole minutes. He had expected fear. He had expected she would beg for her life. He even expected she could also taunt him and stall for time. However, he didn't expect such rage. He was glad she was in a cage.  
"You're my hostage, if someone has to shut up, it's you" he reminded her when he finally regained his composure.  
"No. I'm not gonna shut up, I'm not gonna do whatever you want me to do, and _I am not disgusting_!"  
"You are the worst hostage ever. I'm trying to work here!"  
"Do you think I give a fuck?" she replied. "I don't care about your plans, they're gonna fail anyway. I just want to go back home and I'm not gonna shut up until you let me leave, you fucking -"  
"Enough! The plan has been changed. I'll just kill you."  
The whole city saw him produce a tiny handgun from the pocket of his lab coat and get ready to shoot her from between the bars of the cage.  
"Any dying wish?" he asked.  
As the wannabe super villain was hiding her from the camera, nobody else saw Maddy's frightened expression turn into a smirk.  
"I wish you well in jail."  
Then, Doctor Moreau disappeared, replaced by a tiny blue cube which fell on the floor. The next second, Megamind was facing the camera. Maddy's voice interrupted him before he could say something heroic and witty to the people of Metro City :  
"Before you start a monologue, could you help me get rid of those chains, please?"  
He changed the setting on his de-gun and zapped the padlock on the side of the cage, opened the door and made the chains disappear as well.  
"Thank you, Megamind."  
"That's what heroes are for."

Once off screen, Maddy dropped on the backseat of the invisible car. As the blue hero sat next to Minion on the front seat, the human burst into sudden, incontrollable laughter.  
"Why are you laughing?" the fish asked.  
It took the camera girl two whole minutes to be able to talk again.  
"Because I'm alive! For a split second, I really thought I was going to die! But I'm _alive_!"  
Minion didn't really understand what was so funny.  
"She must be in shock", Megamind whispered so the young woman wouldn't hear him.  
"And then you arrived, Meg. That loser didn't see it coming!"  
"I didn't have time to prepare a great entrance", the blue man explained.  
"Meg?" Minion repeated.  
His best friend shrugged.  
"Don't worry, your entrance was great! Very heroic!"  
"Thank you!" Megamind smiled.  
"Now let's take Miss Manson back home", the alien fish said while starting the engine.  
While his sidekick was driving, Maddy asked the blue hero :  
"How did you find me? Doctor I Can't Even Think Of An Original Name didn't mention where we were."  
"Thanks to the video broadcast", Megamind explained. "I recognised one of the places I held Roxanne hostage in five years ago. The cage was new though. He must have taken over this second-airy lab when I stopped doing evil things."  
"Secondary."  
He ignored Maddy's correction and asked her :  
"Roxanne told me you suddenly left without even saying goodbye. What happened?"  
She starred blankly at the window of the car and remained silent a long moment.  
"Someone said… I heard someone say I was…"  
"You were what?" Minion asked.  
"D… _disgusting_… my dad used the same word when… when he kicked me out. My mom and my brother didn't say anything because they agreed with him. I was sixteen. I've never seen my family again. So, when I heard this person use the word, I just snapped." Her eyes were beginning to cry again. "I was kicked out of my house and treated like the scum of the earth for being myself. I don't want it to happen again. I wouldn't be able to take it."  
"I know what it's like to be treated like scum", Megamind sighed.  
_No wonder it's so difficult for humans to accept a blue alien like me. They can't even accept each other._  
"I just wish Cherry was here… Distance sucks. So much."  
She fell silent again a minute or two, then asked :  
"Does Roxanne have to deal with that kind of comment too?"  
"Yes", the blue alien replied. "Also, lots of people think she has Stockholm syndrome. But she doesn't seem to care."  
"She loves you so much, no matter what anyone else says. You're lucky to have her. She's a keeper" Maddy said.  
"To be honest, I still can't believe she's willing to be with me."  
_Roxanne is not like the other humans. She accepts me. She loves me just the way I am. I don't how it is even possible, but she does._  
Once the camera girl was back in her apartment, she made sure the door was locked and the window closed. Meanwhile, Minion drove to the police station where Doctor Moreau would be rehydrated and taken care of.

After a quick patrol of the city, the blue man decided it was time to replace the flowers he had offered Roxanne all those weeks ago by new ones.  
Though he did use his holowatch to buy the roses like he did last time, when his sidekick and best friend dropped him off next to his girlfriend's building he didn't care that much about being seen anymore. Other people might not accept him, or Roxanne and him as a couple, but she did, and that was all that mattered. And if something bad ever happened, both of them could defend themselves.  
He hesitated before ringing the doorbell, not knowing if his girlfriend was already asleep or not ; he finally decided to knock softly and quietly on the door just in case.  
The door opened, revealing Roxanne in her nightgown.  
"Please come in, dear. And thank you for the flowers, it's always appreciated."  
"You're welcome, honey" Megamind said while entering the apartment.  
She couldn't help smiling at the pet name. He had never given her a cute nickname before, as it was something he was completely unfamiliar with. Then again, being in a relationship wasn't something he had experienced before either, but he was eager to learn.  
He had heard lovers call each other "honey" on TV, and he loved honey. And, seeing the bright smile on her face, she liked the name.  
She put the new roses in the middle of the table, and then human and alien both went in for the kiss at the same time.  
Then, Roxanne took a step back.  
"Is Maddy ok?" she asked.  
"She's safe now, he replied. "That pale excuse for a mad scientist will be in jail for kidnapping and attempted murder for quite some time."  
"Let's hope he won't escape."  
Megamind fell silent a second or two then declared :  
"I have an idea! I know every possible way to escape from the Metrocity prison ; I can tell the guards about them and how to prevent a anyone from escaping. Though some of my uncles might not appreciate it…hum…"  
He referred to the prisoner who had taken care of him over the years as his "uncles".  
"That's a great idea, dear. And did Maddy tell you why she left me in the middle of the street without even say goodbye? She usually doesn't break down like this after someone says something mean about her."  
"Let's just say she was reminded of very painful memories. Memories of rejection." He sighed. "You humans can't even accept each other as you are. Someone like me doesn't stand a chance."  
Roxanne took Megamind's gloved hands in hers.  
"Dear, we're not all like this and you know it. Beside, Metro Man is an alien too and he wasn't-"  
"But he looks exactly like a human, only with bigger muscles. For the first years of his life, nobody but me knew he didn't come from Earth."  
"You know what? Close-minded people can get lost somewhere. _I_ accept you. I love you. You're my hero."  
"I'm your hero? I really am?"  
The reporter nodded, smiling. Her boyfriend couldn't help wrapping his arms around her and kissing her passionately. That was enough to make her forget everything else. Nothing existed but him and her, here and now. The kiss slowly turned into a making out session until the alien regained control of himself and took a step back.  
"Wow, that was… I mean, I… I lost control and -"  
The human looked at him with a playful grin.  
"You should do that more often, dear."

The next day was Saturday, and like every Saturday, Maddy was alone in her tiny apartment, reading a book. This time, she had got up from her armchair several times in order to make sure everything was locked and no-one else was inside.  
At some point, she put her book down and sighed heavily. She would give anything to be safe in her significant other's arms right now.  
She decided now was the perfect time to listen to that one song that always reminded her of her lover, so she got up and turned on those lousy speakers she had received for her birthday about three years ago.  
"The neighbors better like this song" she said out loud.  
The next thing she knew, she was dancing and singing along at the top of her lungs :  
_"Can't stay at home, can't stay at school  
Old folks say, ya poor little fool  
Down the street I'm the girl next door  
I'm the fox you've been waiting for_

Hello Daddy, hello Mom  
I'm your ch ch ch ch ch -"

She was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. The woman in black pyjamas turned the volume down and looked through the peephole to see Roxanne was standing outside the apartment. Maddy unlocked the door and opened it to the reporter.  
"Hello Roxanne! What are you doing here?"  
"I wanted to make sure you're ok."  
"I'll be fine, thanks. You know how that is."  
"Do you say that because I used to be kidnapped all the time? Megamind never actually wanted to _kill_ me. But _your _kidnapper made it clear he was about to kill you.""  
"I'd rather not talk about it."  
"Megamind and I will publically announce we are a couple and make it clear you've never been in a relationship with him" Roxanne declared. "Let's hope no other villain will ever kidnap you if everybody knows you're not the hero's girlfriend."  
"You… You'd do that?"  
"Plus, you said on air you were taken."  
Maddy formed a "T" with her hands.  
"Stop right here. _You_ can come out of the closet if _you_ want to, but I want my private life to remain private, ok?"  
_It's more of a glass closet : everyone knows there's something between Megamind and me._  
"Beside", the woman in black continued, "it's a long distance relationship, my g… significant other can't be here right now so -"  
It all made sense now. The long distance relationship, the song she was listening to, the mention of the closet, her saying she knew what it was to have to hide... The reporter interrupted her camera girl :  
"It's Cherry, isn't it?"  
Maddy stiffened.  
When she realised Roxanne wasn't going to treat her like her family and many other people did, she let go a sigh of relief and sat down in her armchair.  
"Yes" she said. "We've known each other for two years, 'been together for one. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone and she knows it. I want to tell the whole world how fantastic she is and how much I love her. But the last time I came out, I was kicked out of the house. I had to live at a friend's place. So I'll stay in the closet for a while."

* * *

Note : The song Maddy was listening to is of course Cherry Bomb by the Runaways.


	6. Chapter 6

This chapter contains more MegaRox, Megamind's birthday and my poor attempt at transcribing Cherry's accent (basically, she has no clue how to pronounce the "H"s in any English word, or the "th" at the beginning of "thing" or in the middle of "mother". So don't be surprised if she says "sing" instead of "thing", for example). Speaking of Cherry, she tends to call Maddy by her nickname of Porcupine.

Of course last but certainly not least, I'd like to thank Eleathyra and Fairest1 from Livejournal for coming up with ideas for birthday gifts. :)

* * *

The rumours about Roxanne and Megamind's relationship were now confirmed. The former also made it clear Metro Man and her never were a couple. As expected, it was all over the news.

Though MetroCity's very own blue alien had proved once again he was indeed on the heroes' side by saving Maddy, many people disapproved of his relationship with Miss Ritchi.

_Screw what they think_, the city's most famous reporter thought as her boyfriend put his collar, cape and gloves on the coffee table of her apartment before joining her on the couch. His putting his spikes away when they were alone was usually his way to say "cuddle me please", and she happily obliged.

He ran his long blue fingers through her short hair and she caressed the back of his head while they kissed. The kiss started off slow and tender then gradually grew more passionate until Megamind was lying on his back, Roxanne on top of him.

In his villainous days, he had to be in control (or at least appear to be) all the time. Since their relationship began, the woman he loved so deeply had been teaching him how good it could feel to simply let himself go.

_Oh god_, he thought, _please don't ever let this moment end_.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, quickly followed by a female voice from the outside of the apartment :

"Roxanne, it's your mother! Open up please."

_I've always known god didn't exist anyway…_

The reporter got up in panic. Her mother was certainly not ready to accept the blue alien as her son-in-law.

Megamind's first impulse was to reach for his wrist to disguise himself, but he had taken his watch off along with his gloves, so he picked up his things from the coffee table and hid in the nearest closet.

_Maybe it's not too late to activate the disguise generator… No, I probably shouldn't, Roxanne doesn't like it when I use it…_

Roxanne opened the door and let her mother enter, trying her best to smile as if she didn't interrupt anything in particular.

"Hello mom, I didn't expect you" she said. "You drove all the way from the suburb to visit me?"

"You know why I'm here", snapped.

She rarely ever used that particular tone of voice, but when she did, it meant an argument was about to take place, and that was the last thing Roxanne needed.

"Mom, I -"

"I thought it was only a rumour, just like with Metro Man and you! But you actually date the one who used to kidnap you constantly! Are you out of your mind?"

_I should have seen it coming…_

"The kidnappings were just a show, mom. The weapons pointed at me weren't even loaded."

"That's what _he_ told you, isn't it?"

"And it's true" a now fully-clothed Megamind declared from behind Roxanne's mother. "Even then I couldn't actually hurt her. The weapons weren't loaded, the machines were programmed to stop before touching her and the flamethrower couldn't fire in her direction. Why do you think she wasn't afraid of me?"

turned around to face him. Her eyes were burning with such anger it made him take a step back.

_I'm lucky she doesn't have laser vision, or I'd be dead._

"You…"

Roxanne's mother grabbed the first thing she could find, the blue vase filled with white roses, certainly to throw at Megamind's head, but her daughter took the vase from her hands just in time.

"I _invited_ him, mom. Please don't throw things at my boyfriend."

"And the murder of Metro Man? This wasn't 'just a show', was it?"

_It kind of was, but I can't tell her this : I promised I wouldn't tell any citizen that Metro Man is alive._

"It was an accident", he told Roxanne's mother. "He was supposed to be _invincible_, I never expected the death ray to kill him. Maybe hurt him a little. Or mess with his so perfect hair. But not _kill_ him."

"If you say so… but if you ever hurt my daughter in any way or kidnap her again" said while looking the alien straight in his green eyes, "I'll be more than happy to dissect you. Alive. Understood?"

He gulped.

"Un… understood, ."

"I've got my eyes on you."

"Mom, leave him alone. I made my choice. Remember when you said you'd always respect my choice?"

"Roxanne, he's not even hu -"

"You promised, mom", the reporter interrupted. "We love each other. That's all I care about."

"You'll regret it later", said as she was leaving her daughter's apartment.

"I won't."

As the door slammed shut, Roxanne wrapped her arms around her boyfriend (who was still shaking from the idea of being dissected alive) and clung to him.

"I'm sorry", she told him.

"It's not your fault, honey. Your mother just wants to dissect me alive", Megamind replied in an attempt to hide his fear under some sarcasm.

The reporter laughed nervously.

"Did I ever mention she's a doctor?"

"…I don't like doctors…" the alien mumbled.

"Eventually she'll see how adorable you really are and -"

"I'm not adorable!"

"Yes you are. As I was saying, eventually she'll realise how adorable you are and how happy you make me feel when we're together…"

"Do… do I really make you happy?"

"Of course, dear", Roxanne replied, hugging her partner tighter.

"Wait, you're going to have marks because of the spikes again…"

"Well, if you're so concerned about this, dear, why don't you let me take that thing off?"

He froze. Now that he thought about it, he had taken his collar and gloves off in front of her many times since their relationship began ; however she had never removed them from him herself. Seeing the alien hesitate, the human told him :

"But it's ok if you don't want to."

"No, I mean…yes, go ahead...if you want?" the blue man said hesitantly.

She took a step back and slowly removed his collar before delicately placing it on the coffee table. It was heavier than she had imagined.

"Can I remove the gloves too?" she asked.

He nodded and let her unbuckle his left glove, remove it and place it alongside his collar. She then did the same with the other glove. Once she had finished, Roxanne took Megamind's hand in hers and intertwined her peach fingers with his blue ones.

"The others can say whatever they want", she said. "That's not gonna change how I feel about you."

He pressed his forehead against hers.

"I love you so much."

"I know. I love you too, dear."

The biggest problem with the snow which was now falling on MetroCity was it rendered the stealth mode of the invisible car useless. What is the point of driving an invisible car if the snowflakes give its location away anytime you park it?

Therefore Megamind and Minion patrolled the city with the spider-bot or the overbike.

On that particular day in December, the blue alien took the overbike to meet some people working for the reconstructed Metro Man museum. Apparently they wanted to add a Megamind-themed exhibition in there.

The museum was now as good as new, except for the giant statue of the city's previous hero. That place had been left empty.

When the alien returned to his lair, he was more excited than that one time Minion let him drink too much highly-sugared coffee before conducting an evil plan.

As he parked the overbike inside, Roxanne, Minion and Maddy burst out of their hiding place behind the spider-bot and showered him in blue confettis.

"Happy birthday!" they shouted in unison.

Megamind jumped and put his hand on his holster before realising what was going on.

"Oh god, I didn't expect that, I nearly dehydrated you!"

"But you didn't! Happy birthday to us! Yeah!" Maddy said while throwing more confettis everywhere.

"Us?" the blue man repeated.

"It's also her birthday, but all her friends are elsewhere for the holidays and can't celebrate it with her, so I invited her", Roxanne explained.

"And I baked the cake!" Minion added proudly.

The blue man's large eyes were shining with joy.

"First the statue, and now this? Could this day get any better?"

"What statue?" Minion asked.

Megamind could barely contain his excitement.

"They want to build a statue of _me_ for the museum! How wild is this?"

"Because you're a hero or because you funded the reconstruction of the museum?" Roxanne laughed.

"I saved the city and you from Titan, I rebuilt everything that was destroyed, thanks to me the streets are the safest they've ever been and the Metrocity prison is finally escape-proof and the city has brand new env-ee-ronmentally-friendly public transportation and -"

"We know, Meg, we know", Maddy smiled. "And we get it : you're a hero."

The blue man turned to face his best friend :

"And guess what, Minion? When I asked them if they would build a statue of you as well, they told me they may include it to mine somehow!"

"You… you asked them to make a statue of me, sir?"

For many years the ichthyoid had been dreaming of getting some recognition from the one he had taken care of pretty much all his life. Now that he had it, he didn't know what to do or say even though it warmed his little fish heart. Had he been able to, he would have shed tears of joy.

But Megamind was already moving on to the closed curtain hiding his idea wall, opening it and revealing a wooden table covered in a black and blue tablecloth as well as four chairs that weren't there this morning and a small swarm of brain-bots which greeted him with happy robotic noises. One of them gave him a wrench he threw in a random direction the little robots followed, looking for what they considered their toy.

Roxanne found it amusing that, despite trying his best to make his "evil" inventions look menacing, the ex-villain gave his intelligent robots the personality of little puppies. Even the spider-bot acted like a dog. _They're a bit like him : adorable things trying to look tough._

Megamind could remember his birthday (his literal birthday), however he couldn't remember ever celebrating it. Birthdays weren't celebrated in jail. Not with cakes and gifts carefully wrapped in colourful paper.

The festivities were interrupted when the brain-bots all over the lair whispered "intruder, intruder, intruder…"

Aliens and humans looked up at the monitors nearby to see someone wearing a bright red coat and hat was standing outside, the brain-bot there preventing them from entering.

Eyes wide as saucers, Maddy stood up from her chair and walked towards the screens to take a better look.

"I can't believe it… It's… It's her! It's _her_!"

She didn't even bother to grab her coat before rushing outside to embrace the woman in red.

"It's you, Cherry! It's really you!"

As the two women were kissing each other passionately, Megaming stepped outside.

"You should go back inside or you will turn as blue as I am."

He then ordered the brain-bots to let the woman in red and the large package lying in her car enter. Once inside, the woman in black wrapped her arm around her girlfriend's waist and said :

"So, why don't you day hello to my friends, honey?"

_Maddy also accepts me the way I am, but there isn't any romantic feeling involved here. She sees Minion, Roxanne and I as her friends, that's how she's just introduced us as…_

"'Ello", Cherry said. "My name is Cerise, but you can call me Cherry. I've never met an English-speaking person who could say my real name right anyway…"

"So, instead of calling you _Cerise_ people call you the same thing in English?" the blue man asked.

"Congrats, you actually said it right!" the woman in red smiled.

"Megamind pronounces a word right while other people don't? Am I in the twilight zone?" Roxanne asked.

"Could we not make comment about my pronunskiation on my birthday?" the blue alien pouted.

"Dear, it's 'pronunciation'."

"I knew that!"

"If you say so", the reporter laughed.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Maddy asked her girlfriend. "And how did you get here?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise, like a birssday gift for you", she replied. "Long story short, my mozer is working on 'er next book which will take place in the US so she decided to move 'ere for six monss. She needs a translator so I travelled wiz 'er. My sister travelled wiz us too. And you said on twitter you were going to Megamind's lair, so…"

"That's the best birthday gift ever!" the camera girl laughed while Cherry was taking her coat and hat off, revealing an AC/DC t-shirt and a boyish, short haircut.

"The cake's still waiting!" Minion reminded everyone.

The brain-bots silently added a fifth chair around the table.

A few minutes later, Megamind and Maddy blew the candles on the birthday cake together before the fish removed them and cut four slices of cake.

"You can't eat it with us, can you?" the girl in black realised.

"Oh, actually, I could, but I don't like sugar."

"Unlike some people I know", Roxanne smiled while looking at her boyfriend. "Even when we have dinner together you always find a way to put some sugar here and there or have junk food as a second dessert. Or both."

Maddy frowned.

"How the heck are you still that skinny, Meg?"

"My metabolism is much faster than yours. My heart beats faster than a human's too."

"… Why do I keep forgetting you're not human?" the camera girl wondered.

"How can you forget this? My skin is blue and my head is enormous."

She shrugged. She didn't know the answer.

After a few bites of cake and lots of compliments towards Minion's baking skills (he would have blushed had he been able to), it was time to unwrap the presents.

While Maddy got the new mp3 player she needed, Megamind received a black hand-knit hat his size with blue lightning bolts on the borders, a bunch of sweets and other highly-sugared products such as marshmallow fluff and caffeinated nixie tubes, and a shirt with "I'm with genius" written on it. Above the writing, an arrow was pointing up.

"I saw it and thought of you", Roxanne's camera girl explained with a laugh.

"Porcupine, you still 'ave a gift to, what's the word again, un-wrap?" Cherry told her.

"Not in front of everyone, honey", she laughed.

"Not me, dear, but the package zat Megamind's glowing robot sings 'elped me carry inside. As you know, I was saving money to be able to visit you, but since my mozer paid the plane tickets, I decided to use zat money to buy you a cool birssday gift!"

Maddy then opened the large and long package to reveal a sky blue bass guitar.

"Wow, it's beautiful! Thank you so much, Cherry!"

"And it's your favourite colour!"

Later, Maddy and Cherry had to say goodbye and leave, as both had lots of things to do the next day.

"What's the plan?" the latter asked while putting her red coat and hat back on.

"Well, it mostly involves showing you my apartment and… everything else you want."

"I like zat plan."

Then, they left, and Minion went to the kitchen in order to wash the dishes (as Megamind had _once again_ forgotten to repair the dishwasher).

_Ok, now it's time to ask him_… Roxanne thought.

"Now that the guests are gone, can I, hum… talk to you about something, dear?"

_Oh, that sounds serious. Did I do something wrong? Is she breaking up with me_?

"What… what is it, honey?"

"Well, I've been wanting to bring that up for weeks. We've been dating for months and we haven't… I mean, would you be interested in… taking our relation to the next level? If it's possible, I mean, if you want…"

Megamind frowned.

"The next level?" he repeated. "Is that a metaphor for something?"

"…Yes, it is. You don't know what this phrase mean?"

Before the alien could answer, part of the floor near them exploded.

* * *

Note : the caffeinated nixie tubes are a real product from ThinkGeek. So is the "I'm with genius" shirt.


	7. Chapter 7

Long story short, this chapter contains some action and some fluff too. Enjoy!

* * *

"What on Earth was that?"

"I thought you reinforced the security here!"

"I did! I just didn't think they'd come through the basement!"

"They? Who are they?"

"I don't know! Anyone!"

Minion burst in the room, still wearing his pink apron.

"Sir? Miss Ritchi? Are you all right?"

"We're fine, Minion, but now there's a hole in the floor", Roxanne told him. "Let's investigate to know what caused it. Either one of Megamind's old doomsday machines malfunctioned, either someone placed a bomb here."

_I don't know which option is scarier…_

"If it was one of _my_ evil devices, the explosion would have been much bigger. This", the blue man said, pointing at the gap in the floor, "was done by an amateur."

The hole was large enough for Minion's gorilla suit to fit through and there were debris everywhere, but the brain-bots could handle it easily. It wouldn't be the first time they repaired or rebuild something.

"Dear, you _really_ should make sure your old stuff won't explode, or I'm not moving to your lair."

Megamind leant over to check if there were any damages in the basement, lost his balance and was saved just in time by his sidekick who grabbed his cape to prevent his fall.

The reformed super villain took a step back.

"It was _not_ one of my inventions! Someone dug a tunnel, look!"

Roxanne leant over the hole while her boyfriend was holding her to make sure she wouldn't lose her balance as well.

"I see. Whoever did this is gonna regret it" she said while straightening up and grabbing her own dehydration gun in her pocket.

_I just wanted to have ONE serious discussion with my boyfriend. Just some alone time without being interrupted by an alarm or explosion or anything. Is it too much to ask for?_

The two aliens and the human went downstairs to investigate.

"If they wanted to destroy the place or kill us, they'd have used more explosives", Roxanne thought aloud. "So why did they -"

She was interrupted by Minion pointing one of his large robotic fingers towards the ceiling. There was enough dynamite attached up there to make the entire thing collapse on their head.

Megamind immediately called his brain-bots to remove the explosives as he went near the middle of the basement, not far from the Roxie-bots, where the entrance of the tunnel was.

_The only way anyone can enter without being seen by my brain-bots is through the soil. I'll make sure no-one will be able to dig here ever again…_

"Something's not right", Roxanne whispered. "They dig a tunnel, they put dynamite all over the ceiling of the basement, only a small part of it explodes and no-one's guarding the entrance of the tunnel or anything."

"Remember that one time I lured Metro Man into going in an abandoned building only to blow it up and have it collapse on his head?" Megamind reminded her. "The first explosion was no accident. It was a bah-sick trap."

"It's 'basic', sir", Minion corrected.

"That's what I said. Now let's go down that tunnel."

Roxanne grabbed the blue alien by the arm before he could come closer to the hole.

"Wait, you know this is a trap but you're going in regardless?"

"That's what heroes do."

"Dear, being a hero doesn't mean you can't use your high intelligence anymore."

He couldn't help feeling a bit proud when he heard the woman he loved recognizing his amazing intellect, even though the recognition was small.

He looked up at his brain-bots (that were busy removing all the explosives and storing them in another part of the lair) and ordered :

"When you are finished, Daddy wants you to inspect that tunnel. If you see anything suspicious, come back immediately."

And then, they waited. About 15 minutes later, the spike-less and limbless brain-bot got out of the tunnel, carried by its sister and followed by a couple of its brothers. It was still glowing, but obviously couldn't fly anymore.

Megamind took the damaged little robot from the pink one's "hands" and held it in his arms as if it was a baby.

"Mxtd, what happened to you? Who did that? Looks like you've been shot! Daddy will repair you as soon as whoever did this to you will be taken care of, I promise."

Her boyfriend seemed so worried about his brain-bot Roxanne didn't even pay attention to the unusual name he had given to it.

The pink brain-bot (or Clarice as its "daddy" called it) took the damaged one back and flew through the hole in the ceiling, bringing it to another part of the lair.

Megamind's eyes darkened. Roxanne had never seen such anger in him before, even in his villainous days. He was about to enter the tunnel, de-gun in hand, when Minion stopped him with his large robotic hand.

"I'm not gonna let you get shot like Mxtd has just been, sir. I'll go first."

_Wait, how can they pronounce THIS?_

"I'm going with you" Roxanne decided, holding her dehydration gun firmly in her hand.

The tone of her voice made it clear it wasn't negotiable.

All three of them entered the tunnel, walking in the dark as quietly as they could.

A few moments later, the tunnel lit up, blinding them ; before their eyes could adjust, they heard several gunshots, but fortunately Minion's gorilla suit shielded Megamind and Roxanne from the bullets. The fish made sure the two humanoids were safe behind his back then covered his bowl with his hands to protect it until the gunshots stopped.

They had entered a larger portion of the tunnel which was filled with wooden crates behind which four men armed with handguns stood, ready to hide if necessary. They didn't wear any particular uniform or logo, but were dressed just like regular people.

"It's that talking fish! Stop shooting, it's no use!" ordered one of them.

The others obeyed then looked at the alien fish's apron, confused. The one who had just spoken had to violently nudge the man on his left in the ribs to prevent him from laughing out loud. Megamind took this occasion to burst forth and shout "YOU'RE GONNA REGRET INJURING MY BRAIN-BOT!" before firing his de-gun and dehydrate one of the foes. The others immediately ducked, hiding behind the crates which the blue hero dehydrated too before being able to do the same to a second foe.

Suddenly, from a corner which wasn't properly lit by the lamp above them, a fifth man emerged, pointing a gun at Roxanne's head.

"You traitor to your own species…" he growled.

As she heard Megamind shout her name as he turned around, ready to save her, she reacted on instinct, raising her own gun and turning the man into a glowing blue cube.

"Nice shot, Roxanne!" her boyfriend commented, relieved to see she was alive.

He had barely finished his sentence when the foe who had spoken first shot him in the back ; Roxanne dropped her dehydration gun and rushed at the injured alien, wrapping him in her arms. Minion's right arm grabbed the man who had shot his friend while the left extended to prevent the one who laughed at his apron from escaping.

"I surrender!" the latter screamed.

Megamind soon dehydrated the last two foes while his girlfriend helped him keep his balance.

"Let's take those goons to the police station now", he said.

"No, we have to take you to the hospital first!" his girlfriend objected.

"No, not the hospital! I hate hospitals! I hate doctors! I have everything I need in Evil Lair!"

The blue alien felt weaker and dizzier as blood slowly escaped his body, tainting the inside of his cape.

"We have our own infirmary", Minion explained. "I'll take care of him, don't worry."

The lair's "infirmary" was just a small room full of diverse instruments and machines Roxanne didn't know the purpose of. Then again, so was the rest of the lair, but this particular room was warmer and much cleaner.

The reporter had been allowed inside only after Minion and one of the brain-bots had extracted the bullet and healed Megamind's wound. He was lucky his spine was intact.

He was currently lying face down on a bed which was stolen from MetroCity's hospital years ago. His usual leather attire had been replaced by a custom black hospital gown with blue lightning bolts all over it. The lower part of his body was covered by the blanket.

Roxanne was sitting on a chair next to him, holding his hand. Minion had assured her the blue man healed really fast and the wound would completely disappear overnight. Once she had promised the fish she would take care of his friend, he left to take care of the dehydration cubes in the tunnel. The human had insisted on staying at her boyfriend's side until he had fully recovered.

"Thank you for staying with me, honey" he said once his mind wasn't clouded by the lack of blood anymore.

"That's the least I can do for Metrocity's hero. Hum, I mean, MetroCity!"

Megamind couldn't help giggling at Roxanne picking up his mispronunciation ; however he was cut short by the pain. His girlfriend notice.

"Dear, are you ok? Didn't Minion give you enough painkillers?"

"He would have if there was any painkiller on this planet that wasn't a poison to me", the alien replied. "But I'll be fine. It's not the first time I've been injured."

She caressed his hand.

"I'll do my best to keep you distracted so you'll focus on something other than the pain, ok?"

Since she didn't know what else to talk about, she asked him what the machines around them were for.

"This one is for blood. I need more blood than you do to keep my giant brain running, but I can't receive transfusion from anyone else, so I made this so I can auto-donate and store the blood for later use."

"And what this one does?"

"It's a scaneer."

"You mean 'scanner'."

"Yes. It detects and locates injuries."

The discussion went on and on as Roxanne convinced Megamind to patent those devices or build more of them for MetroCity's hospital.

By the time Minion came back to change the blue hero's bandage, they had both fallen asleep.

When Roxanne woke up, she was lying on a mattress, courtesy of a certain fantastic fish who had placed it next to the injured alien's bed. She straightened up and felt familiar cramps.

"Owww…"

_Oh, looks like it arrived earlier than usual. At least this mean it'll be over before Christmas so that's a win, I guess…_

Megamind opened his large green eyes.

"Are you ok honey?"

"Don't worry dear, I'm used to it. I'll go to the bathroom and be right back in a few minutes. What about you?"

"I'm ready to kick criminal butts again!"

"Good."

The human went to the bathroom and came back to the infirmary a few minutes later to find her boyfriend standing up near the open door, fully dressed and watching a few brain-bots leave the room.

"I'll go repair Mxtd now", he said after giving Roxanne a quick kiss. "I promised him."

"How come you can pronounce _this_ but can't get the name of the city you've been living in your whole life right?" she asked.

Megamind shrugged.

"Mxtd was a very common name where I come from. Not all my brain-bots have 'earthy' names."

_I see. Alien language._

"Does it mean anything?"

"It means 'first born'. Minion and I rarely use this language. Even when we're alone we usually speak in Ee-nglish."

"English", Roxanne corrected while wrapping her arms around her boyfriend's thin torso. "Can you say something else in your language?"

"Sdzxucflg", Megamind said while pressing his forehead against the human's.

"What does it mean?"

"It means 'I love you'."

She smiled and kissed him tenderly. As always, he was more than happy to reply.

Roxanne broke the kiss when the cramps came back full force.

"Are you sure you're ok, honey?" the blue man asked her, concerned.

"I'm ok", she answered. "I know you don't have painkillers here, but do you have a hot water bottle or something?"

"I can ask Minion to get a glass ready -"

"No, dear, it's not for _drinking_. Heat help ease the pain due to the cramps. One day my mother bought me a hot water bottle and told me pressing it against my belly would make me feel better."

"I see… If heat makes you feels better, why not use me as your own personal hot water bottle? As you have noticed before, my body temperature is a couple degrees higher than a human's."

He removed one of his gloves, let it fall on the mattress on the floor and pressed his hand against Roxanne's belly.

She smiled. At the beginning of their relationship he would have been too shy to do something like this.

"You're hot" she commented.

"Are you talking about my body temperature or my rugged good looks?"

"Both", she laughed.

"…You _really_ think I look hot?" Megamind asked, surprised.

_Wow. Not so long ago, the only people who ever complimented my looks were Minion and I… and most of those compliments came from me._

He couldn't help pressing his lips against hers and explore her mouth with his tongue. She was more than happy to reply.

_If only there weren't all those clothes between us_… _Roxanne though. No, stop it ; this is certainly not the right time for that! I really want to know what's hidden in those pants though… Roxanne, try to focus on something else!_

She broke the kiss in an attempt to silence her own hormones.

"If you feel warm to me, does that mean I feel cold to you?" she asked, trying to think about something else.

"Not much. I don't mind anyway. You make me feel warm inside."

_Oh, Megamind, you have no idea how warm YOU make me feel…_

They could hear Minion's voice outside the room :

"Sir! Miss Ritchi! I made you breakfast!"

* * *

Note : the alien words were totally created my smashing my keyboard. I wanted them to be unpronounceable for the average human.


	8. Chapter 8

While Megamind was busy repairing his damaged (or, as he and his sidekick would say, "injured") brain-bot, Minion asked to talk to Roxanne in private.

"What's with the serious face, Minion?" she asked once they were alone. "Are you alright?"

"You almost died in that tunnel last night. That guy was ready to shoot you in the head."

The human had never seen the fish being so serious, never heard that much concern in his voice.

"I know. It's a good thing Megamind made me this dehydration gun. Though I guess if I didn't fire, he would have."

"My sole purpose in life is to look after the boss. That means I also have to look after _you_ now. He wouldn't last a week without you", the fish explained.

"I'll be careful. And even if anything did happen to me, I trust you to take care of him."

"No, I mean, he _really_ wouldn't last a week. That's how his species work."

"Wha… What do you mean?" Roxanne asked.

"When one's monogamous life partner died, the other followed within a few days. Always."

"Are you saying that if I died, it would _literally_ kill Megamind?"

"Yes," Minion said. "So, whatever you do, don't let them kill you. I don't want to lose both of you."

She took one of his large robotic fingers in her hand to reassure him despite being just as worried as he was.

"I won't let anyone kill me. I promise to die of old age in my sleep. We won't leave you alone that easily."

Megamind suddenly burst in the room, holding the spare holowatch in his hand.

"I modified the watches!" the blue man exclaimed, brandishing the wristwatch. "I repaired Mxtd really quickly, so I had some time to add a force field mode. It can deflect bullets now! And any other metal object. Just push that button here."

He handed Roxanne the watch and she took it.

"Thank you very much, dear", she said while attaching in to her wrist and activating the invisible force field.

_This will be needed_, the human added silently, as she didn't even need to say it out loud.

Maddy woke up this morning in her girlfriend's arms, smiling from hear to hear. This really had been the best birthday ever.

Careful not to wake Cherry up, the camera girl got out of bed, put some clothes on and made breakfast while humming House of Fire to herself.

The short-haired woman eventually woke up to the smell of bacon, grabbed her underwear and t-shirt and greeted her girlfriend with a kiss on her neck.

"'Ello dear."

The woman in black tensed up from the sudden stimulation.

"Honey, I'm trying to make breakfast here…"

Cherry hugged her from behind.

"What if I want you for breakfast?" she asked playfully.

"Last night wasn't enough, was it?" Maddy smiled. "You can have me for breakfast, lunch and dinner anytime, you temptress."

She turned around to face the woman she loved and wrapped her arms around her.

As their lips were locked together, Maddy's phone rang. Reluctantly, she picked it up from the armchair, as it certainly was a call about work.

"Hello? ... I feel great, thanks for asking! And you? … Oh… Ok, I'll be there with the news van! See ya later, Roxanne." She hung up, turned to Cherry and explained : "It was Roxanne. Something happened at Meg's place after we left and we gotta do a report on it and then find out who did it."

"What 'appened? Is anyone 'urt?"

"Apparently not. Are you coming?"

"I can't. My mozer needs me to be 'er translator, remember? I 'ave to be wiz 'er and Fleur while they visit Metrocity. But you still can come over tonight!"

"…Why do you mispronounce MetroCity the same way Megamind does?" Maddy asked.

"You mean I don't say it right?" Cherry replied, surprised.

"Nevermind. Let's eat and then we'll go where we're needed."

When Megamind and Minion returned to the tunnel, the exit had been filled up again with both earth and cement. Once back in the main part of the lair, Roxanne and Maddy were waiting for them with a KMCP mike and camera. Both aliens had to tell the audience about how some terrorists attempted an attack on MetroCity's defenders. However, there was one detail neither them nor the reporter dared to mention : her being called a "traitor to her own species." They would rather not think about it, even though they obviously couldn't help it.

Sometimes, Roxanne would actually forget her boyfriend didn't come from Earth. Sure, mentions of his extraterrestrial status or him doing things no human could do (such as healing from a gunshot overnight) would remind her from time to time, but otherwise he wasn't that different from earthlings.

_He actually is more humane than some humans I know_, the blue-eyed woman thought while Megamind and his henchfish recorded their version of the story for the camera.

"Time to move to one of my back-up lairs", the blue man declared once the interview was over and the camera turned off. "At least until that new threat is taken care of."

_They want to kill __**her**__ because of __**me**__. Because of her relationship with me. What if the dehydration gun and force-field weren't enough? I'm putting Roxanne in danger…_

"You should have done that after the yard sale, sir" Minion pointed out.

"Can we not talk about the yard sale?" the hero asked.

"You should listen to Minion more often, dear", Roxanne said. "Anyway, Maddy and I have more work to do. I'll call you later."

**_I am_**_ his weakness. If I died, Minion would be left alone to defend the city. And Megamind…_

The reporter tried her best not to think about this possibility.

"So, you said we would go ask those goons why they did it?" asked Maddy while she walked towards the exit with Roxanne.

The latter nodded and sat on the driver's seat once she reached the news van outside.

"I've already called the police station", she explained while the camera girl sat next to her. "Those bad guys are still being held in custody right now. But when they are in the real prison, I bet Megamind's uncles will make them regret hurting him."

"The perks of having been raised by prisoners, I guess?"

"We can say that. Some of them didn't really appreciate his efforts to make the prison escape-proof, but the majority is proud of what he has accomplished. According to the warden, he gives them hope."

"Yeah, if a guy who had eighty-eight life sentences can end up being the city's official hero, anyone can become good," the girl in black said.

Once at the police station, only one of the men of the tunnel accepted to speak.

"They said they would give money to our whole families if we worked for them."

"For who?" Roxanne asked.

"I don't know. They told me they didn't want a hero slayer to be MetroCity's hero. They told him over here that they were after you for dating alien. They told each one of us a different story. How can I now what is true and what isn't?"

"And you still accepted to go on and attack Megamind's base?"

"My mother can't afford the medication she needs. With the money…"

"I understand. Now tell me what you do know about your employer."

"They want Megamind gone, that's for sure. Probably you too. And they hire citizens with no criminal record rather than doing the job themselves. That's what I told the police."

"Why won't the others speaks?"

"Because they're afraid."

"And you aren't?"

"I am. But I'll be out of jail sooner if I tell the police everything I know, right? I can't afford to be in jail for very long, not with my mother being in the state she's in."

Before leaving the police station, Roxanne promised the man she'd find a way to make sure the man's mother would be safe.

He hadn't shot any bullets while down in the tunnel ; he didn't have the time to do so before being dehydrated. Would he have been able to fire had he have the opportunity? Roxanne wasn't really sure.

_I expected a bunch of villains, not normal people hired by some obscure group_. _Why using random citizens instead of professionals? That doesn't make any sense._

The reporter sent the following text to her boyfriend :

"Found out some stuff about who really is behind the attack. Meet me tonight 2 talk about it? RR"

The reply wasn't long to arrive.

"I can pick you up while Minion gets the back-up lair ready. MM"

"Y don't u come over to my place and be my hot water bottle? ;) I'd feel safer."

"I'll b there. Lol :)"

One day she should ask Megamind why he used "lol J" so much while texting. Did he actually know what "lol" meant? She wouldn't be surprised if he didn't.

"Minion?" Megamind asked while his piscine friend and him were moving the spider-bot to one of their back-up lairs.

"Yes, sir?"

"Last night, Roxanne wanted to ask me something that sounded important, but we were interrupted by the explosion…"

"And…?"

"She said something about 'taking our relation to the next level'. Do you know what that means?" the blue man asked.

As the silence that followed made him and his master very uncomfortable, the fish finally spoke :

"Sir, do we really _have_ to have this conversation?"

"What?"

Minion sighed.

"I think she meant…you know… mating."

"Oh…"

Saying Megamind didn't fantasise about having sex with Roxanne would be a blatant lie ; however, he had never thought anyone would want to do it with him, even her. He had accepted the fact he would remain a virgin all his life long ago, and the idea was so ingrained in his mind he still believed it despite having a girlfriend.

_Does this mean she really wants to… oh god, I haven't done any research on the subject!_

"I'm sorry sir, but I can't help you with that", his henchfish told him. "You should probably wait until she brings that up again though…"

"What if she doesn't? _What if she does?_"

"Whatever you and Roxanne do, I don't want to know. Can we just keep moving our things to the back-up lair?"

"Yes, yes, of course."

_I guess I'll have to do some research… just in case she doesn't change her mind._

Megamind and Roxanne both knew the risks they took by being together, but as they were cuddling on her couch, they both knew they wouldn't be able to live without each other or to be happy without each other. So they would stick together no matter what.

Once he was informed of what she had found out about the mysterious people behind the attack of the main lair and had discussed it a little bit, they decided to clear their heads by watching some DVD.

Not paying much attention to the movie, the reporter let her mind wander in other territories.

_Why hasn't he tried anything yet? Is he too shy? I gotta ask him later. Let's hope we won't be interrupted this time. Heck, the last time I got laid was so long ago I can barely remember it…_

She gently brushed the back of his neck with her fingers, causing him to tense up as he always did when she touched that particular area. She stopped and shifted position so her hear was pressed against his heart. Even though she had been surprised by how fast his heartbeat was the first time she heard it, she actually liked listening to it.

_Maybe we're not compatible for one reason or another? Maybe that's why he hasn't tried anything?_

The TV was nothing more than some background noise as Megamind's bare hand caressed her hair.

_I guess if that's the case, we'd figure something out… we'd find a way…_

The alien was also deep in thought.

_She hasn't mentioned the "next level" again yet. Maybe she has changed her mind? Maybe she is also waiting? Maybe it's just not the right time for this? What if I she saw what I look like underneath all those clothes and decides she'd be better with another man, a human man?_

Halfway through the movie, Roxanne fell asleep. Careful not to wake her up, Megamind carried her to her room and laid her down on her bed.

_She's so beautiful. The most beautiful person on this planet. I'm so lucky to have her in my life._

It was later, in the middle of the night that the human woke up alone in her bed, still wearing her clothes.

_When did I get here?_

She got up to look for her boyfriend and quickly found him sitting on her couch, reading some of her books.

"You're not sleeping?" she asked him.

He closed the book and looked at her over the back of the couch.

"I already slept yesterday."

"Sometimes you sleep for eight hours, sometimes only four, and sometimes not at all", Roxanne pointed out. "How does your sleep cycle actually work?"

"Badly. Over the years I've frequently neglect sleep more often than I care to admit. But usually, my body clock makes me sleep four hours a night. When I arrived on Earth, it was eight hours every other day."

"Any particular reason for that?"

"Days on my planet lasted longer than they do on Earth. When I arrived here, I had to adapt. However, this time I slept too much last night. I'm not tired now."

"I see."

"Anyway, _you_ should go back to bed, honey", he said. "I'll stay awake and make sure no-one tries to blow your floor up."

"Actually dear, I think I'd feel safer if you held me in your arms while I sleep."

* * *

Coming up next : a flash-back about Roxanne's first kidnapping, from her point of view. Stay tuned!


	9. Chapter 9

This chapter includes the story of Roxanne's first kidnapping as told by herself and the girls briefly discussing alien biology *cough, cough*.

* * *

The recent events didn't stop Maddy and Cherry in their efforts to create their webcomic, far from it. They actually wanted to include those events in their story later. But first things first : they needed a good beginning, and Roxanne could give them just that.

So, as soon as her busy agenda could allow her to take a break, she met the happy couple at Maddy's apartment. As they were drinking coffee around a small plastic table the woman in black found somewhere one day, the woman in red got her sketchbook and pencil ready. The camera girl emptied her coffee mug and put it back on the table while her other hand opened her laptop.

"Porcupine and I sink it would be great to 'ave different point of views in our comic", explained Cherry. "We already 'ave Megamind's. It would only be fair to 'ave yours. And Minion's too."

"Honey, 'think' and 'sink' aren't the same word", Maddy pointed out.

"English isn't my first language, no wonder it's 'ard for me. English pronunciation is a pain in the ass. 'Many sounds I just can't get right. Anyway, we're not 'ere for zat. Roxanne, can you tell us the story of your first kidnapping?"

"That's what I came here for", the reporter said before starting to tell her tale.

It was more than ten years ago. Megamind and Metro Man already were celebrities and I was just some obscure journalist working for KMCP. I was trying to obtain an interview with the city's defender to launch my career, and he was ok with it because he knew me from high school. However he was always too busy fighting Megamind or other criminals and signing autographs, you see?

Rumors about him and I started when we were in high school, actually. I guess Megamind decided to kidnap me because he thought they could be true.

Long story short, he started to kidnap me because he thought Wayne was my boyfriend and everyone else thought I was Metro Man's girlfriend because he kept rescuing me.

One day, I was getting home from work and parked my scooter in front of the apartment block I lived in back then. It had been just a normal day until a huge robotic hand holding a spray can appeared out of nowhere. And then, everything went black.

When I woke up, I was sitting on the chair, a bag covered my head and my hands were tied. The bag was removed, so I looked around to figure out where I was. A huge screen covered the wall in front of me and the three others were covered in blinky dials and controls for some unknown things, but the centre of the room was pretty empty except for me and Minion. I thought _oh, that's Megamind's henchfish, his master must be near. What does he want from me?_

He was near indeed, in the same room, hidden in his high-backed chair until he spun it around to reveal himself, saying "glad to see you're awake, Miss Ritchi. You woke up just in time for…"

I didn't let him finish. I was angry and wanted to go back home as quickly as possible and not get involved in his endless duel with Metro Man that had already been going on for ten years. I shouted : "what do you want from me? Where are we? What are you going to do to me?"

Needless to say, he was surprised by my tone of voice ; I could easily read it on his face.

"Well, Miss Ritchi, you'll understand I can't tell you where we are", he said while standing up and walking towards me. "But I _can_ tell you you're going to be the bait in today's evil plan."

I was like "what?" So he explained he was going to use me to lure his nemesis, make him go exactly where he wanted, and fight him "in an epic battle of good an evil."

I asked him "do you really need me for that?"

He simply ignored my question and started a monologue about the perfection of his new plan and how much of a genius he was.

I have to admit I was a bit scarred, not of _him_, but of his reputation of always having his plans backfire on him. I didn't want to be there when his new doomsday machine collapsed or exploded. I was also tired and just wanted to go home.

I interrupted his monologue to say : "let me go right now, or…"

"Or what?" he replied. "I'm afraid there's not much you can do."

He had this little smirk on his face that just makes you want to punch him. But he was right : my hands were tied, I didn't know where I was or how to escape, and if I tried to his minion would have caught me easily. Then, I realised : I wasn't able to punch him, but I still could use my feet. He was close enough for me to reach him. So I said "I can do _this_" and kicked him in the crotch.

He just yelped in surprise and promptly stepped back, out of my reach, while Minion asked him if he was ok.

"Could you not do that again?" Megamind asked me.

Then he turned to his friend and said "Minion, make sure her feet are tied too next time!"

"Next time?" I repeated.

Being involved in his future plans didn't sound like a good thing to me back then. But being _in_ the news while reporting the news really launched my career, you see. This and the exclusive interviews with Metro Man I could obtain after most kidnapping.

Megamind replied to me : "What, did you expect me not to have other evil plans in the work, Miss Ritchi? My superior mind is _always_ making new schemes. As long as Metro Man will resist my evil, there will be a next time."

And then…

"Wait a minute", Cherry interrupted Roxanne. "You kicked 'im in the crotch, and 'e just… I mean, 'e didn't even fall on 'is knees or somessing like men usually do when you kick zem in the balls?"

"I was surprised too", the reporter said laconically.

_And all these years I've been wondering why he didn't react exactly the way I expected…_

"Is 'e pain tolerant? Or… maybe Megamind literally doesn't 'ave balls."

"Honey, why do you care so much about the genitals of someone you don't even sleep with?" Maddy asked, still taking notes on her laptop.

"… I don't know", her girlfriend admitted. "Sorry Roxanne, I made you uncomfortable."

"Wouldn't be the first time someone asked me what's in his pants…" Roxanne sighed.

"Let's not talk about this in the comic", the woman in black suggested. "Or anywhere else. This is private matter."

"Thank you Maddy", Megamind's girlfriend said.

_I'm not only uncomfortable, but also frustrated because despite being in a relationship with him I __**still**__ don't know what the hell is or isn't in his pants. Great. But soon, very soon I hope, I will find out. And then I'll show my hero how much I love him…_

"Anyway", Roxanne continued, "as I was saying…"

Megamind pressed a series of buttons and a bunch of menacing-looking weapons appeared –no, Cherry, I don't remember what all of them looked like, you should ask him! So, they appeared from the ceiling, pointing at me. As far as I knew, he had never killed anyone, plus he needed me for his plan, so I guessed he wouldn't actually use his arsenal on me. I don't know how, but from the very beginning I had this feeling he wouldn't hurt me. The only person he's tried to hurt deliberately was Metro Man, and he was invincible.

The brain-bots hadn't been created yet, so Megamind used a camera stolen from KMCP to show the whole city I was tied up and surrounded by his weaponry, or as he said "at his mercy." I think he actually said "at the mercy of my evil" or something like this. He must have kept the tape ; I'll ask him to let you watch it.

Then, it when like all the kidnappings went afterward : he taunted Metro Man on air and said "you will leave Metrocity or this will the last you ever hear of Roxanne Ritchi."

Since he had previously admitted he planned on kidnapping me again, I knew his threat was just for the show.

The screen lighted up, showing a view of the city from somewhere in its outskirts. It was when the entire room moved and the landscape in the screen changed that I realised we weren't in a building, but inside of Megamind's new giant robot. I thought _oh, that's not good._ _I don't want to be inside that thing when it's destroyed._

As we got closer to the city itself, Metro Man appeared on the screen, flying towards us at high speed. I guess he was about to fly through the giant robot and break it into pieces, but he suddenly stopped. I could see hesitation on his face. He couldn't just destroy the robot while I was inside of it. Of course Megamind noticed his hesitation and laughed one of his best evil laughs yet. Don't tell him about the "best evil laugh" part or I'd never hear the end of it.

The battle went on while the speakers of the robot played AC/DC for the whole city. For about an hour, Metro Man dodged all of Megamind's attacks, for his creation was powerful, but too slow. It crushed the cars parked in the street as if they were bugs, but catching a super-hero mid-air was another story…

"Did Metro Man try to use his laser vision to cut the robot open?" Maddy interrupted, still taking notes while her girlfriend was drawing sketches of Roxanne in the hostage chair.

"He did", the reporter answered. "Once the machine started to malfunction and stopped moving long enough for him to melt the metal without having to worry about dodging attacks or being thrown to the other side of city. Maybe Megamind would have found a way to prevent him from entering the robot if hadn't been so busy blaming the malfunctions on Minion. He always blamed Minion when something went wrong."

"Anyone else would 'ave quit after years of being blamed for everyssing", Cherry pointed out. "Zat's dedication to your work."

Finishing her sketch of Roxanne, she started a quick drawing of the fantastic fish.

"I'll ask him where Megamind's tapes are, so you'll be able to see how all those battles went", Miss Roxanne said. "They always were broadcasted live _and_ recorded."

"Ok, let's go!" Maddy said, saving her notes and turning her laptop off.


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry for not updating sooner. I'll try not to keep you waiting for so long next time. ^^"

This chapter includes another flashback narrated by Minion, mentions of sex (nothing is shown though. No porn here, sorry^^), and a few headcanons of mine.

* * *

When the women arrived in the new lair, they bumped into Minion while he was busy testing different remotes and marking them accordingly to their effects.

Cherry tried her best not to giggle when she saw the piranha-like fish in a gorilla suit was wearing a blonde curly wig on his bowl. The other two human had already saw him wearing it before and therefore weren't even surprised.

"Hi Minion", Roxanne said. "Do you know where Megamind is?"

"Hello Miss Ritchi!" the alien fish replied. "Sir isn't here yet, but he'll be back shortly. Want some coffee while you're waiting?"

"I'd like that. Thank you."

Minion turned to Cherry and Maddy and asked them if they also wanted coffee ; they gladly accepted the offer.

A few minutes later, all four of them were sitting at a table set for the occasion, drinking the warm beverage and chatting.

"Well, Porcupine and I still 'ave to work on our little project, and we need _your_ point of view too", Cherry explained to Minion as the latter was pouring some coffee in his bowl. "We'd like to 'ear your side of the story."

"Well, I… I don't know where to start."

"Try starting from the beginning?" Maddy suggested as she took her laptop out of its case.

"I'll try", the fish said before starting to tell his story.

* * *

Sir's parents created me to take care of him. When he was eight days old they put me in the escape pod with him. I don't remember much of it, but I know our entire solar system was sucked into a vortex. Metro Man was there too : he comes from the planet that was next to ours.

At first no-one in jail or at school seemed to notice I was just as sentient as he was. They thought I was his pet. At least that way the other kids didn't pick on me like they did to him. Well, they stole me a few times and even played soccer with my bowl once, but it wasn't really _me_ they were after…

My sole purpose in life is to look after Sir. So that's what I try to do. Making sure your boss doesn't get hurt when he works as super villain (or hero now) isn't always easy.

How did his super villain career started?

Sir had been sent in the corner like pretty much every day we spent at the schoolhouse. Meanwhile, my bowl and I were on his desk, watching over him from there. You know, I wish I had my body back then, so I could have protected him like I was supposed to do. Well, I couldn't have protected him from young Metro Boy, but from the others…

Anyway, everyone in class assumed he was bad and called him a "freak" or "blueberry head". That one day, I saw him grab a bunch of cleaning products from the closet and tinker with them while the teacher wasn't looking. Then he rushed to grab me and hide us under his desk not to be touched by the explosion.

Oh, no, nobody got hurt ; the teacher and the kids were just covered in blue dye.

The teacher called the Warden, and soon the prison's bus was there to pick us up. Sir put me on the seat next to him and watched Metro Boy move the schoolhouse away through the bus' window. Until the Titan Incident, we didn't know where he hid it.

* * *

"Where did he 'ide it?" Cherry asked.

"I don't know, I wasn't there when it was found", Minion replied. "There's, hum… nothing interesting to see there… at all. Don't go there."

"Cherry would draw it more accurately if she could see what it looks like", Maddy argued.

"We'll send you pictures", Roxanne said. "So, what happened next, Minion?"

Once we were back in jail, Sir told me that, if he was going to be the bad boy, he'd be "the baddest boy of them all". I felt it wasn't really the best idea, but you know him, he's the most stubborn man ever. And he thought it was his destiny.

One of the first things he did after deciding to become a super villain was stealing some materials and parts to build me a body I could fully control thanks to my antenna. It has been upgraded and repaired over the years, but most of the original parts are still there.

Sir and I think his parents meant to give me a mechanical body like this one, but didn't have time. They barely had the time to give me my implant.

* * *

"So you 'ave an antenna _and_ an implant?" the woman in red asked while sketching a quick portrait of Megamind's best friend.

"The antenna is part of the implant actually."

"Does it do anyssing besides controlling your gorilla suit?"

"It's not a suit, it's my body. And… the implant has some information stored in it too, like how to heal Sir if he's wounded or general stuff about his species."

"Anyway, what I really want to know is who thought raising a child in a prison would be a good idea. I mean, come on, that's not a suitable place for a child", the camera girl pointed out.

"His uncles and the Warden wanted to protect us", the fish replied.

"Protect you from what?" Maddy asked.

"Scientists, mostly. Do I really need to say more?"

The discussion was interrupted when Cherry's mother called her daughter on her cellphone to ask for her help again.

* * *

One whole week passed without incident worth mentioning.

_Whoever is after us must be still preparing their next attack_, Roxanne thought as she approached Megamind's new lair, making sure no-one was following her.

It was the 24th of December and, for the first time in many years, she wasn't at her parent's home for the holidays. She would have been more than happy to see them had they accepted her boyfriend to come along, but it was too soon to even think about it.

"Anyone here?" the reporter called as she entered.

A swarm of brain-bots greeted her, one of them carrying the wrench in its metal jaws.

"Oh, you want to play fetch?" she smiled. "Gimme that thing…"

As she threw the tool to the other side of the main room, she heard the sound of familiar footsteps.

"Honey?" the blue man asked while taking off the hat he had received for his birthday and shaking the snow off it. "Did the brain-bots just played with you?"

"Yes", she replied. "Usually they only do so with _you_."

The human could swear a single tear of joy was forming in the corner of her boyfriend's eye.

"That means they've adopted you!"

"Adopted?" she repeated, smiling and taking her wool gloves off. "Does that mean they think I'm their mommy?"

"I guess so", he said, taking her hand in his.

"Great", Roxanne laughed, "we have ten thousands robot children! ... Wow, that sounded weird."

"More like ten thousands cyborg children", Megamind corrected, "but either way they're the closest things from actual children we can have I guess."

"You mean we can't have children of our own."

The alien shrugged.

"I doubt the double helix of your DNA and the triple helix of mine could produce anything together."

"Oh… Hum, anyway, I… You told me you didn't celebrate Christmas, but I wanted to give you and Minion a little something anyway", Roxanne said while looking deeply in the pockets of her coat. "I've got some chocolates for you and new fish flakes for Minion – I was told they were much better than the ones he usually eats. And I also bought you two some books, but they're still in my apartment."

The blue hero smiled and kissed her briefly.

"Thank you honey. I actually have something for you too."

He led his girlfriend deeper into the lair, stopping in front of a strong door that could only be opened by typing two different entry codes on each side.

Behind the door was an exact replica of Roxanne's apartment.

"It also doubles as a bomb shelter, just in case. It's the safest part if town now", Megamind explained.

"It's _exactly_ like my apartment… Except you couldn't make the balcony of course."

"I wanted to make sure you'd feel at home whenever you come over. Also, there's a package for you in your room."

The reporter went to the replica of her bedroom while her boyfriend waited for her on the couch. She reappeared a few minutes later, her winter clothes replaced with the sleeveless blue dress he had secretly bought for her a few days ago.

"Thank you so much dear, I love it!"

He was breathless. She was so beautiful, the most beautiful being he had ever seen, and she was more than happy to be in his presence and wear the dress he had chosen for her.

He stood up, walked straight towards Roxanne, wrapped his arms around her (while being careful the spikes on his gloves wouldn't mark her skin) and kissed her deeply.

Soon, she pulled back, a wide, playful smile on her face.

"You know, I might have something else for you if you want…"

"What are you thinking about, Roxanne?" he asked.

"Remember when I asked you about the 'next level' thing?"

_Oh god… What do I do?_

"Oh… hum… Of- of course I remember… It's just – I don't know… I mean -"

"Hey, it's ok if you don't want to. Just tell me if there's anything wrong."

"… Are you sure you want to… with _me_?"

"Dear, I couldn't be surer", she stated while cupping his face in her hand, her blue eyes locked onto his green ones.

"I… I'm not sure what to do", he admitted.

"I'll teach you. Can I just ask you one question? And don't say 'you just did' or anything of that sort."

"Ok, ok… What's your question? Is it about…?"

_Is it about my genitals?_

"To be honest, I've been wondering about it for quite some time, but since it's private matter I've never asked", she explained. "But now… well, I need to know if we're compatible, see what I mean?"

The alien mumbled something unintelligible ; the human asked him to repeat himself more clearly.

"It, hum, retracts inside my body… when I don't need it…"

_Retractable penis, hum? I knew it! That explains a thing or two._

"Ok", Roxanne said, nodding. "So, how about we go to the bedroom so you can tell me what I should do to get it out?"

* * *

PS : *whispers* I like reviews ;)


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